Our culture is not only diet obsessed, but workout obsessed.
The sweatier the better. The more calories burned, the more satisfied. We’re bombarded with fitspo and relentless messages of more, more, more and harder, faster, stronger.
Sleeping in over working out often leads to self-shaming and guilt. And even if we feel tired and worn, we can easily convince our minds and our brains to push through and suck it up.
I’m not immune to any of this. I’ve been there. Back in college, taking a day off resulted in anxiety and lots of negative mental noise. So much of my identity was in running and working out and my body. I loved running and still do, but I’m not Robyn, the runner. I’m Robyn, and I just happen to enjoy running.
It seems that exercise has somehow become this glorified thing that has way too much control over who we are and how we feel. Exercise is just exercise. And nothing more. But it’s so hard to believe that when we live in a culture fixated on dieting and shaping the human body.
It’s not the determining factor of your worth. Your productivity. Your ambition. Your commitment. Your dedication. Your perseverance. None of that.
Exercise is a way for us to take care of ourselves. A way to destress. To socialize. To build community. To relax. To burn off frustration. To cultivate joy. It has nothing to do with our identity.
But sometimes we allow it to. We allow ourselves to become ridden with anxiety and guilt if we miss a day of exercise. Or if we sleep in, instead of sweat. Or if life gets busy and we don’t follow the plan perfectly. Where is the grace in that? Where is the freedom?
There isn’t any. And that is when exercise becomes something we feel we should do instead of something we want to do. We lose the appreciation for it. Exercise and movement gets the life sucked right out of it when we start associating it with our worth and identity. Just because you sleep in or just because you skip a workout because you’re tired or just because you have to stray from your training plan because life gets busy does change who you are.
Freeing yourself from those false assumptions allows you to enjoy exercise for how it makes you feel, not for how it makes you look or what it “allows” you to eat or how it shapes your reputation. Are we going to feel lazy some days and not want to lace up our shoes or roll out our yoga mat? Absolutely. I think there’s a difference between feeling lazy and not pushing your butt out the door for no reason other than, “just not wanting to exercise” and not getting your body moving because your body is worn down, you didn’t get enough sleep, or that life is just crazy. And I think if we dig deep enough…we know which one applies to our circumstance.
I think exercise is a healthy way to cultivate rhythm in our lives, but it can also very quickly become unhealthy. Like when you rely on exercise to justify eating a certain number of calories or a certain type of food. Or when you rely on exercising every day for mental peace about not gaining weight. Or when you rely on exercise to affirm yourself as beautiful or worthy or “in control,” that is unhealthy. We start prioritizing exercise above more meaningful things…like our mental health, relationships and other things worthy of our time and attention.
A day, two days, or a week of not working out is not going to make you gain 5 pounds or lose all your muscle tone or all your fitness. Working out does not equate to weight maintenance. And exercise does not equal health. True health is so much more than our exercise routine or the food on our plate. It’s getting enough sleep, eating enough and eating well, moving in an enjoyable way, our relationships and community, and managing stress among many other things. And that includes rest days. It includes rest weeks. It includes spontaneous days off. And it includes days of rest that don’t include eating only vegetables or restricting your calories.
Eat a burger, drink some wine, and take a day off. You will still be alive and the same person the next day. Your mind + body + soul will be refreshed. And you’ll develop an appreciation for exercise based on how it makes you feel, not how it makes you look.
Because this life is way too short to stress over sweat.
Thank you for this. Yesterday was an unplanned day off due to weather and I was upset about it. My recovery from anorexia has been a long journey and my addiction to excessive exercise continues to control my mind sometimes. Thank you for reminding me that rest days are necessary.
rest days allow your body to heal and be it’s best, soak up that truth amy 🙂
Love this message and needed the reminder today. Mind if I share this post in social media?
please share!! thank you 🙂
of course!!
Once again, it’s so helpful to hear your reassuring voice. In the past, I tied my identity on being a fitness enthusiast. I had all of the extreme guilt feelings and anxiety when I’d be forced to miss a workout. I remember my body screaming at me for a break and I wouldn’t listen. With this unhealthy exercise came all of the thoughts surrounding food-it was like my whole body was out of balance with binging and thoughts that I had to exercise to eat. At this point in life I was a “healthy” weight but it was far more tormenting than any other point of my disordered eating struggle. It’s still day by day working through the exercise addiction mentality when it’s all around us. I find that MY body does best with simple movements and actually a lot more rest (maybe I’m still recovering from all of the years of abuse). When I’m true to myself with movement/exercise, my relationship with food doesn’t seem so out of control. My husband and I recently joined a health club as something positive to do together. I’m working on developing a new relationship with the club and working through past unhealthy thoughts that pop up again. I would like to be able to go to relax this time around-using more of the amenities and doing gentle movements and yoga. It was so refreshing to read this, I always look forward to your blogs. It’s so nice to have you back-although I’m happy you took some time for yourself !
take care of yourself and remember to do things that make you FEEL good. Exercise is meant to be something we enjoy
xoxo
Robyn
This is another great post! I have struggled with exercise addiction/anorexia and am taking some time to really focus on healing these parts of my life/self. I recently went on a retreat with my spiritual teacher and her work with me reminded me of you. She did some healing with me then asked what I would like to eat (I was NOT prepared for that question or challenge at that moment!)…I said ice cream (have been vegan for several years so have had only vegan ice cream with no issues – but recently had craved a drippy ice cream cone like you have on your blog!). She spoke to the need to be flexible and not rigid with diet/health…that veganism is good/healthy but not when so restrictive and inflexible. She had someone get me some ice cream and when it came into the room, I completely contracted. She then said it would be ‘poison’ for me to eat it in that state…she had me connect with my liver, kidneys, brain – and I could see so much darkness there…when I was able to relax, open up, bring light into my organs, and then eat the ice cream (was reminded to smile while eating it!), it was a powerful experience. Even when asked how the ice cream was (everyone in the group seemed to be drooling while I was eating it!), I only said ‘good’ in a meek voice..but then when my teacher asked me, I was able to own it and say ‘delicious and fun’ and I could feel how different that was from the meek ‘good’. I learned so much from this experience.
Sorry for the long post but it so reminded me of the message you send about balance, health, joy….and this exercise post is a huge help to me to remind me to not be so rigid with my ‘routine’, to listen to my body, allow rest….THANK YOU for being such an inspiration.
Thank you for sharing Suzanne! Gosh, yes it’s so important to realize life is about living in the gray — giving ourselves grace and letting go of things that are not life giving. There is so much freedom in that! Overjoyed for you new found freedom. xoxo
Great post. This is still something I struggle with. I’m infinitely better than before, but I can’t help but feel that twinge of anxiety when things don’t go to plan. Our society makes it so condemning when we don’t work out. It makes me think I’m lazy, when I’m really just living life the way it’s meant to be. Thanks for the reminder and advice.
I love this post so much because i think so many people- women in particular- struggle with this. I know there was definitely a time where my identity was tied into my exercise, to a point where it wasn’t even enjoyable anymore. Its important that we all step back and stop looking at exercise as punishment but as a way to make us feel good, have fun, and appreciate our bodies 🙂
preach on monica 🙂
This is such and excellent reminder, Robyn. I s struggle to manage exercise in a healthy way, and I appreciate your insight so much!
I came to read this post this morning after sleeping through my alarm and missing the run I was supposed to go on. I woke up starting my day already feeling guilty, which is so not how I want to start my Monday. Thank you for this, it came at the perfect time to remind myself that sometimes I just need sleep, life will still go on, and feeling guilty is not how I want to start my week!
absolutely, life goes on and there is always tomorrow to wake up and run. your body loved the sleep I’m sure 🙂
This is a great message. I am trying to practice more of this myself. When I first started running, I simply ran a couple of miles a few times a week. Somehow, that progressed to ALWAYS needing a goal of more mileage to train for the next half, more mileage just because it seemed like that’s what I was SUPPOSED to do. However, I’ve been working on going back to square one. The last few weeks I have gone back to that couple of miles a few times a week and it has done wonders for my stress and anxiety surrounding exercise. I think it’s important to realize that when exercise becomes stressful, sometimes it’s harder for us to stick with it, too. If we allow ourselves SOME flexibility, then it prevents all-or-nothing thinking.
yes yes yes! we have to live in the gray and get away from the black and white thinking all the time. Thanks for sharing Amber! 🙂
Robyn, this is such a great reminder. I wish every girl on my college campus would read this and take it to heart. I used to be consumed by exercise and it caused me such anxiety if I “couldn’t get my workout in.” Over the past few years I’ve come such a long way, where exercise no longer defines me. I still love to exercise, but now I have a much healthier relationship and it’s totally okay if I “miss” a day!
Love hearing where you are now– how refreshing and needed to be heard by so many women! You are a light Libby! xoxo
I so needed this today. My partner is only home at the weekend due to work for six weeks and last night I slept badly and today people just got on my nerves and I am overtired and I just miss him. We recently moved and I do not have any friends in the area yet. So I skipped spinning class tonight and am just sitting tired and a little lonely on the couch, with chocolate & watching Say Yes to the Dress. Tomorrow will be better. But still, I needed this.
Very interesting! Putting aside the mental and physical benefits, you’re saying that we don’t “need” to exercise to lose weight/maintain and that it can be done by healthy eating alone?
Exercise is certainly a healthy part of weight maintenance + health as a whole– but what I intended to illustrate through the post is that we don’t NEED to exercise every day and in a legalistic way to maintain a healthy weight. That exercise does not directly equate health and weight maintenance or loss. Does it help, absolutely. But only if it’s done in a healthy way — meaning it’s not too much and doesn’t cause unnecessary stress. I hope that clarifies!
Wow. This was sooo good. Such a great reminder since I know that I can definitely get sucked into exercise anxiety. I’ve been following your blog for years now, and I hope you know just how much I appreciate your posts. I know I can count on you for thought-provoking and inspiring reads. God bless you and keep these gems coming! 🙂
Thank you so much for reading and for your support! Fills me up knowing it encouraged you 🙂 xoxo
Hi! I have been reading your blog for years and “hearing” your voice through posts are so comforting to me. Your view on life (food, spirituality, exercise, etc.) truly inspires me! I’ve always known that I wanted to help people through a career in the medical field, and your blog has helped me realize that becoming an RN is in my future! (I am a freshman in college so I have a ways to go haha) In short, Robyn, thank you for everything you do! It is greatly appreciated!
Thank you so much for reading and for your sweet words + support! All the best to you as you pursue a nursing career! You picked a very rewarding path 🙂 xoxo
Thank you so much for this post and your many other insightful pieces! In a world where the focus is only on how workouts can help, but hurt, I think many women are suffering from exercise anxiety. I am recovering from it myself after being diagnosed with hypothalamic amenorrhea and stopping all exercise except for light walking and yoga. Your blog is so refreshing and I always look forward to your posts. Keep fighting the good fight!
It’s a harsh and toxic world out there, that we can easily get caught up in- thinking of you and wishing you all the best on your road to recovery from HA! xoxo
I struggled with this for soooo long! It is so nice now to be able to lay in bed on Sunday mornings without forcing myself to get up and move. The things you learn as you grow older 🙂
YES! oh the peace and slowness of sipping coffee in the morning
I have struggled with this, and I am so thankful that I see just how binding it is to let exercise control my life. I would rather move happy than have the idea of ‘moving’ make me miserable. <3 I <3 that you touched on this subject Robyn!
moving happy, I love that 🙂
Hi Robyn! I’m from Australia, and I love your blog! Thank you for every single blog post. There are so many dangerous messages out there, you are supposed to push your body to the limit and practically starve your body in order to control your weight, so your blog is a breathe of fresh air!
I’m recovering from a nine year battle with anorexia and exercise addiction, and I’m only 25. This blog is helping me fight the demon so much, your words give me permission to rest and eat more and treat my body well when the anorexia wants me to do the opposite.
Thank you so very much, you are incredible and please keep up with the blog, it truly is helping so many people!!!
thank you so much for your sweet words Girt! keep fighting and know that there are lies and there is truth and saturating yourself daily in truth is the only way to fight the ED voice. lots of love to you lady 🙂 xo
woah. powerful post. when I started exercising 5 years ago I did it for the calorie burn.. now I workout for the endorphin high which I even get after a walk! I’m also really learning to enjoy yoga because my body & mind feel so incredibly refreshed!!
I’m going to be honest and say that I think exercising has actually been causing my rapid weight gain. I haven’t been sleeping and have found myself in the mindset of if I workout I dont have to worry about what I eat. I’ve stopped with the “have to workout everyday” mindset and am focusing more on allowing my body rest and for my stress levels to lower.