Just like our bodies change with seasons and our eating patterns change, so do our exercise rhythms. Two years ago I was training for the New York City marathon and the two to three years before that I ran with the Charlottesville Track Club, meeting my friends at the track by 5:30am 1-2x a week and training for races, including an almost annual 26.2. I really, really enjoyed it.
But then I realized I didn’t anymore. I don’t want to say those days are long gone, because I don’t think they are…but I do think they are on hold for a while.
I spent my first year in New York running with some nursing school friends and ran a bit with NYRR, but with the craziness of school and working and simply trying to just live in the city it became too much. So much so, that I dropped out of training for my 2nd NYC marathon in the summer of 2016. Running had turned from being a positive addition to my life and was now a huge stressor. So I stopped.
A few months later I started going to Equinox, a ‘plushier’ gym in the city with lots of really amazing classes, which is the main reason I joined. I loved all the hot yoga and barre and spin classes – and then came to love kickboxing and zumba (for real, fav class) and I liked how I could workout based on whatever I was feeling because I had so many choices. But then this past spring, going to the gym started to feel like an obligation. I would feel bad if I didn’t go because it was so expensive. That obligatory feeling in addition to the realization of student loans coming in, made a $225 gym membership very easy to give up.
I quit the gym in April and it felt really good. And really freeing. Not just from a financial point (because yes, that guilt melted away) but from an emotional standpoint because I stopped feeling bad/guilty if I didn’t go to the gym. Side note on Equinox or any gym: if it triggers you to be around “fit” people or to hear messages about “calories you’re burning” (seriously, the worst motivator ever) in gym classes or see ads of really “toned” people around the gym…please don’t go to that gym. I absolutely hate Equinox’s advertising and don’t support it at all, but I’m also in a head space where that bounces right off me, thankfully. Over time I found the instructors that taught with a posture of body positivity so I stuck with those and avoided all the others.
Looking back, I’ve gone from running with a group and training for long races to walking and jogging and doing yoga and barre and whatever feels good for my body that day. And this “flow” and type of movement feels really really good.
I love the chapter on movement in the book, Health at Every Size, because it pushes back against what society tells us. We overlook the simplicity of healthy movement. It doesn’t mean you have to have this regimented exercise routine that you must do to be healthy. The best part about engaging in movement that truly is best for you is that you might not even know you’re doing it.
Doesn’t that sound so much better?
Think about this: if you’re doing a workout that you hate, you’re not releasing feel good neurotransmitters in your brain. Instead, you’re releasing a shiz ton of cortisol. So not only is that movement not healthy for you mentally or emotionally, but you’re creating more cortisol…aka more stress. Cortisol is a good thing for us, it helps regulate a lot of systems and processes in the body and we need it to survive. But when we have too much, it’s not good.
Think decreased immune system, increased blood sugar, GI issues (think bloating, cramps etc etc), fertility issues (cortisol messes with the release of female hormones in particular) and what I think is very important to note…when you’re doing exercise you don’t like, you’re not doing it for health reasons…you’re doing it to control the size and shape of your body. And if you’re releasing excess cortisol instead of happy neurotransmitters, that cortisol mobilizes fat storage. I don’t say that to fear monger, but instead to shout, “Doing movement you hate isn’t healthy at all! And it’s going against the unhealthy motivation {changing your body} you have to workout in the first place!”
There will be a time and a place when perhaps I get back into long distance running, but right now is not that time at all. Having any sort of “plan” seems really stressful and rigid and not free or fun at all.
For me, when I have a long day or back to back busy days…I don’t work out. Rarely, if ever, do I work out before I work 11am-11pm even if I have a three hour morning. That doesn’t feel restful or life giving. And now that I have a new 9-6 job M-F, I only move my body if it feels like it will add to my day, which is not every day. Sometimes that’s a run along the river, sometimes that’s 30 minutes of barre3 online, sometimes that’s a yoga podcast, sometimes that stretching on my foam roller for 15 minutes or doing some jumping jacks to Beyonce. Sometimes that’s simply walking.
And sometimes that’s simply that subconscious incorporation of movement into the rhythm of my day like biking to work, or taking the stairs up to our apartment, or sweeping the floors after dinner. Movement isn’t always planned. And that’s when I think it’s the healthiest of all.
But that’s me. And I’m not you. So how do you figure first, what is healthy movement and second, what is the best way to move my body?
Let’s start with what healthy movement is NOT.
Moving with the focus of burning a certain number of calories.
Moving with the primary intention of manipulating your body shape or size.
Moving in order to earn eating a certain food or to burn off foods already eaten.
Moving as punishment or out of guilt or because you hate your body.
Moving for a certain number of minutes or intensity or any other arbitrary measure to make the workout “count.”
Moving when you’re sick instead of resting.
I could go on and on…but if you engage in any of the above…I’d encourage you to take a look at your motivations for exercising.
Moving because you enjoy connecting with your body and not dissociating from your body or feelings.
Moving because you love your body and what is does for you, not to craft it into something.
Moving because it is stress relieving (not a feelings/reality numbing mechanism).
Moving because that is the most caring thing you can do for your body in that moment.
Moving for however long or however short and whatever intensity or ease your body needs.
Taking breaks from movement without guilt or shame or fear or anxiety.
Flexible. Even if you’re training for something – you have the mindset that the whole plan is totally flexible.
Incorporated anywhere, anytime. Playing with your kids, cleaning your house, dancing in your living room, carrying groceries. You have an awareness that this is all healthy movement.
Life giving and healing and refreshing and restores your heart + mind + soul.
Moving because it’s a privilege, not a necessity or obligation in life.
We live in a culture obsessed with burning calories and doing things better, more intense, for longer until you feel you are enough. You are competent. You are worthy. But the thing is, you will be chasing all that forever because you will never get there.
Just like I tell clients, ask yourself these two questions.
“Am I doing this because I hate my body or because I love my body?”
“Is this helping me lead a better life?”
If the answer is ‘hate’ and ‘no’, stop and re-access. Life is way too short to do things that do not matter.
I think what you’re saying about Equinox is true of most gyms – and I HATE IT!!! It may be promoting a healthy physical body, but it’s definitely not helping anyone have a healthy mind. So much of gym/fitness culture seems so disordered to me,I can’t stand it. Exercise should be something you do for enjoyment!
Totally agree with everything you said here.
I’ve been doing a lot less formal exercise lately and a lot more just walking, which I love. It’s felt a little weird, but I think I needed the break too. Great post!
Robyn – I could NOT agree more! I know now that unhealthy movement was a huge catalyst for other disordered behaviors during my eating disorder. When I finally decided I wanted full recovery, I took a break from exercise completely. It was so freeing to let go of that voice in my head that told me that I had to do a particular exercise that day. I feel so much more aware of what healthy movement truly is and what motivates healthy movement from this experience. Thanks for posting!
that is a HUGE step for people in recovery Miley – so glad you overcame that!
Awesome post!
Yes yes and yes. Robyn your posts always bring me back to earth. And make me seek rest. I absolutely love heart pounding workouts, but I know I’ve hit seasons where I realize I took it TOO far and now, especially wth 12 hour shifts, if I’m not feeling it, then I know I’m doing my body justice by skipping the workout. Also, crazy how moving into the city can make you want to be in all the expensive gyms (currently feeling that). But there are other goals in life such as debt freedom!! Which I’m trying to put before memberships that are fun but I can do on my own at home for free 🙂 ok done rambling haha thank you again for another amazing post!!
This is amazing, thank you! I have been struggling with movement and exercise lately- it has felt like an obligation, something that I have to do or I will gain weight. I am trying to tune into and listen to what my body needs, and give it what it needs when, stopping to think about exercise in terms of numbers and more in terms of what feels good. Thank you!!
I so agree with this Robyn and love your fresh, healthy perspective! Right now, I am training for a marathon and absolutely love it, but just about two years ago, when I was recovering from an ED, I realized my body needed a break from all the push of running long distances, etc. and I took a break. And it felt good. Yes, I gained some extra weight, lost a little tone, but now I can come back feeling mentally fresh and at a way better place physically to conquer this next goal of mine!
Thank you for being an inspiration and speaking the truth, with love!
Thank you! This is just what I needed(:
i used to be a gym rat and turned into a runner for a while…and now i embrace walking + yoga. i can totally relate to feeling compelled to go to the gym and i absolutely hated every minute of it.
THANK YOU. I’ve never commented before but my soul really needed this post–my contract at barre is ending soon and I still enjoy it when I go, but recently it’s felt like such a slog to get there and like it’s just one more obligation I have to check off every week since I’m paying for it. But also simultaneously like if I “just run” that “isn’t enough” since I’ve gained some weight recently. I need to give myself permission to take a freaking break. Barre will still be there if I want to go back in a few months.
Love this SO much! I had been working out 3-4 times a week and doing yoga 1-2 times a week for about 5 months, and I was enjoying it and feeling great, but over the last 2 weeks I’ve just been doing yoga and going for long walks in my favourite forest trails, both of which I enjoy very much, but over the last few days I’ve been feeling a sort of guilt thinking I should be doing an actual workout but also just not really wanting to do a workout – so THANK-YOU! I really needed this to remind myself that I don’t need to do “actual workouts” to be healthy and that incorporating movement that you enjoy and makes you feel good physically and mentally is what matters most 🙂
very glad it resonated with you kyra and thank you for sharing where you are at 🙂
YES to all of this! I was the 6 days a week, cardio, strength & weight training gal up until 2 years ago when I my body realized it doesn’t want to move that way any longer. Now I do what feels good for me and that’s Yoga and Barre, 5 days a week, if that, and I’m completely fine with it. I no longer fret over missing a workout or not getting in a good hot sweat, or lifting those weights to increase post fat burning, etc. I park my car as far away from my destination and walk it, I take the stairs because I’m impatient to wait for the elevator/escalator, and I’m constantly walking and standing on my feet daily for 4 plus hours at work. All that is a workout for me.
You are my favorite blogger. Period.
I love this so much! It is soooooo true! Movement is a celebration of all our bodies can do , not a punishment! There’s a book called “These Beautiful Bones” by Emily Stimpson that touches on this as well and is a fabulous read!
YES ! great article :). I am so happy you said it out loud on internet !! I do workout only 2 or 3 times a week, sometimes less, but still try to get some sort of moving in my day. I always felt it was healthy but I kinda felt ashamed not working out in the mornings… or not following a workout plan… Your article is so refreshing and so true , thank you !! It’s not working out 5 times a week that makes you healthy it’s just getting some movement in your day and doing sports / moving / workouts you love that making you happy that make us healthy. At least this is how I see it :).
so glad this resonated with you melizz! very much agree so much of what you said 🙂
Yes! I also love that chapter in Health at Every Size. I can relate so much to what you shared. I had a similar experience with running. For me, training into longer distances paralleled my orthorexia-type tendencies. I’m running now, but shorter distances. I’m not putting myself on a schedule like I used to, or even thinking about “active” days vs. “rest” days. I try to move most days, because I’ve found it to be so helpful for mood stabilization. I agree wholeheartedly, that an intuitive approach to exercise maximizes feeling good and in line with our intrinsic values!
thank you so much for sharing your story emily! xo
Hi Robyn!
I love what you are saying, and I think that resistance training gets majorly overlooked when it comes to this subject and I think way more people could be reaping the physical and emotional benefits if it weren’t for the influence of social media and the “go hard or go home” nature of group fitness classes that involve weight training.
An appropriate resistance training program looks different for everyone – the one thing they all share is the fact that each move is meaningful, effective and just challenging enough. If it doesn’t leave you feeling energized and moving through other areas of life with more ease then something about it is not right for you.
I like to think of strength training as a practice just like meditation or mindfulness. It takes more compassionate discipline than the type of movement you are talking about, and sometimes we don’t feel like showing up. It is all about showing up for ourselves day in and day out (but knowing when to take a rest), being present with ourselves and our bodies, and learning to challenge ourselves in a loving way as apposed to a torturous one. Much like other aspects to self love these are all skills that take time to learn.
I think that an appropriate strength training routine fosters a healthy relationship with classic exercise as apposed to having to avoid it all together. It teaches us to value something other than the superficial – improved posture, increased strength, flexibility – the list goes on. And it pairs beautifully with the less regimented type of movement you’ve described.
I think it is actually very SANE to be affected by social media and gym marketing and talk of calorie burning and a six pack. It is also very healthy to not want to be ruled by our food and exercise. That is truly not what life is about. That said, I think that there is SO much to celebrate and savor in this physical body we are given. Those of us who want something more in life (the types who read your blog) shouldn’t have to miss out on something so beneficial.
As you know I’m a personal trainer so I am a little biased, but I have seen people from all walks of life learn to love themselves deeper through strength training so I couldn’t help but share. Sorry for the long comment. XOXO
Hi Georgia,
Thanks for sharing – I think the message of the post isn’t really about the type of exercise, but rather the mental and emotional motivations and outcomes of exercise. Hope that is what came across.
<3
This has been a big focus in my life recently. With warmer weather, I love exploring my neighborhood and sometimes I take my actual camera with me to practice my photography skills. It just feels “right” to move my body like this instead of exercising inside or forcing myself to go running. Soon, I’m going to start biking more, which I’m looking forward to doing. I like being outside and incorporating movement into the activities I’m already doing.
love that for you maureen 🙂
This is exactly what I needed to read. Thank you 🙂
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Great message, Robyn : ) I’m so glad you realized what you need to do to make your body happy. You are setting a great example!
thanks for your encouragement tara 🙂
hope you’re well!
I loved this post so much! I don’t go to a gym but I incorporate walking as much as possible through my day. I like what you said about whatever exercise we do it should be out of love for our bodies and be enjoyable. I’m still working on loving my body and not feeling guilty if I don’t walk a certain amount. Also, to not feel guilty when I don’t feel up to walking as much some days. Everything you wrote was so helpful! Thank you!
so glad this has been helpful lynda 🙂 xo
YES! Movement should bring joy, not add stress. 🙂
yep yep YEP
I really liked this post, Robyn! I’m kind of in the opposite space of what you’re in right now — for the past year or so I’ve been mostly walking, jogging, and doing occasional low-intensity yoga/strength stuff, and that’s felt nice. But now I’m craving more sweaty and intense (and different types of) movement, so I’ve been trying out a new gym and going to all of the classes I can. It feels exciting and fun, and just what I want right now! When it stops feeling that way, I’ll go back to less formal movement. Thinking about this is helping to remind me that it’s so normal to go through different phases with movement, and that no phase is “wrong.”
it can go both ways maggie – I can certainly relate to the ebb and flow of that! 🙂
LOVE this! I recently quit a women’s bootcamp type workout because I realized I was just doing it for looks and didn’t really enjoy it.
What yoga podcasts do you recommend??
so glad you were brave enough to say, hey, this isn’t working for me.
I love david farmer and yoga to the people!
This post was meant for me! During my college years I got into running and started running half marathons. Since then I have ran 12-13 half marathons and lots of 5ks in between. At this point in my life, I am busier with my personal training job, and am taking online courses to be a health coach, so time is more limited.
Nowadays, I still run, but only when my body feels like it, and I don’t stress as much if I don’t go long distance. I am enjoying spin classes, strength training, and even some yoga.
Thank you for this post. It was much needed.
I found your blog through a friend and this post resonated strongly. I’ve been exercising (and restricting food) as punishment for being overweight and having a big stomach. I hate exercising so much and always see it as a chore at best, emotionally and physically painful at worst. My husband calls it lazy…
The only exercise I’ve ever enjoyed was when I was focused on glute building awhile back but that was because of a certain look I was attaining, not because I was making my body stronger. I don’t care about strength, I only care about how I look.
Sad, right?
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