Working for myself and owning my own business sounds exciting, but actually most of the time it terrifies me. I’m a practitioner, not a business woman. I love collaborating and working with others, which is why I’ve added three incredible people to this team. But the more I add, the more I have to remind myself that I don’t have to have it all together to lead well. Because disappointing others also terrifies me.
I’m not good at following through on goals or expectations. It’s not my strength. I’ve always felt like I’m working against myself and others. Like WHY is this so hard Robyn? I read Gretchen Rubin’s, The Four Tendencies, and found out I resist internal and external expectations and everything made sense in the world. My whole life felt validated. Now I’m working on reframing the way I set intentions/goals that I hope turn into habits so I can work with my tendencies and not against them.
I hate juice. Like green juice. I’m all about a green smoothie because it’s thick and creamy and sweet with banana and peanut butter. But juice makes me gag. I’m not sure if it’s the ginger or parsley or romaine or what…it makes me nauseous. Even the beet, apple, carrot juices make me ill. It always sounds refreshing in the warmer months, but then I remember I can’t even stomach them. So I’ve accepted that I will probably never like juice even though it looks refreshing.
Whenever somebody finds out I’m a dietitian and then launches in with the, “So can you tell me how to….get healthier, lose weight, etc etc.” I’m always so awkward. SO AWKWARD. Because I don’t really know how to tell them…I actually know very little about the minutia of nutrition and I don’t do weight loss. I actually help people learn to eat intuitively and accept their natural body size. And I never want to make anyone feel bad or weird. Maybe this is my internal projection….probably. So I usually just respond with an awkward smile/laugh and say, “Well I’m probably not the best RD to ask…I don’t know a whole lot about that because I mainly work with women that have eating disorders.” And usually then there’s more awkwardness… This has been years and I still haven’t figured out my best response! Maybe it’s my awkwardness…that’s probably a big part of it.
I’m realizing that as I get older, my tolerance to alcohol is plummeting. Not so much in the moment, but the day after. I can have 2 drinks (maybe 3) and feel totally fine. Not drunk. Not even tipsy. But the next day I feel BLAH and hungover. So now I’m in this process of figuring out what healthy drinking looks like for me. I love the social aspect of cracking a bottle of wine and lezzz be honest, on a Friday I want more than 1 glass because it tastes so good, but I’m realizing maybe 1 glass is what’s best for my body? Buzzkill.
Self care is an area where I need some major growth. I read Kylie’s blog and my chest relaxes and I’m like “ahhhhhhhhh. yes” Sure, I’ve come a long way from forcing myself to go on 7 mile daily runs and sacrificing sleep for work, but I still have quite a long ways to go. I’m actually circling back and doing a lot of the same exercises I have clients do when it comes to cultivating self care. So far I’m getting into a rhythm of a daily 10-15 minute restorative yoga practice, foam rolling my IT bands, and drinking tea + reading at nighttime instead of scrolling through Instagram. It’s a work in progress.
I’ve skipped periods or had irregular periods this past year. It’s been a few times, but it’s happened. That’s my body telling me something is up. Once was in October when I had a super long cycle and looking back on that month I was stressed out with the impending move to Boston and was traveling a lot that month – nothing else in my life had changed except stress and travel. I had a couple longer cycles around 38-40 days at the beginning of 2017 when I traveled to Europe in January and then was studying for NP Boards in Jan/Feb. I talk about this a lot in my e-course on getting your period back that is coming out next month. Your period is the barometer of your health and there are so many reasons your cycle could be irregular or go missing all together. Stress and sleep are two big factors. So all that to say, I’m not perfect. I too, have to do some self inventory when my cycle gets irregular.
I don’t really like sleep. I know I need it…I’d die without sleep…but I do not look forward to it. I’d rather be reading, watching a movie, scrolling through Instagram if I’m honest and doing anything but laying in bed doing nothing but sleeping. Does that sound ridiculous? Probably. Yes actually.
I’m a big fan of counseling. I haven’t been in a few months (maybe longer?) and through this transition to Boston and marriage and blah blah blah I’m like…yea, I should go back to counseling. I’m not an expert on absolutely anything so I could use some third party advice, guidance and someone who gets paid to hear me ramble and cry.
this was a great article. I hear you about the self care! it is so hard for me. I seem to put everyone else first and me last. Im really trying to work on it. 🙂
it’s a work in progress!
I can relate. I am an RD specialised in nutrition support (I work for a home infusion pharmacy) and hate when people find out I am a dietitian because I dread the diet talk. Especially this time of year. Although I’ve been practicing for 15+ years and have never done diet counselling I still get questions about weight loss from family and friends.
I hear you – it’s that RD that sets people curiosity and questioning off 🙂
I am not an RD, rather, someone in recovery from anorexia. Even though I am at a healthy weight now, people will ask me how I stay thin or what diet I follow. I say something along the lines of, I don’t diet because there is no scientific evidence that any diet will lead to long-term weight loss and health. In fact, dieting is one of the major causes of obesity. I listen to my body and eat what I want when I am hungry.
Then, if I feel like going on a feminist rant, I will add that the societal obsession with dieting and the pressure to make oneself as small as possible is the perfect way to keep women from achieving their full potential.
I think that some version of, actually, science doesn’t support dieting and I teach my clients how to eat in a way that is best for their physical and mental health, which is different for everyone. You’re not the wrong person to ask–you’re exactly the right person to ask! They are just asking the wrong question.
so mama words here: you are amazing in that you are recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, you are asking for help, you are admitting to yourself that somethings work and don’t work for you. AND, you are just down right a cool person even though I don’t know you in person. As providers, we are often our own worse enemies. Add to that our gender. Bonus “x’s” for mom’s because. The expectations we put on ourselves are usually self created-the world does NOT always have the same expectations we put upon ourselves.
Counseling is amazing. Going to a health provider and requesting a full physical with lab work is eye opening. Hating juice/kale/bacon/whatever is called normal dietary preference (I made that up for lack of a phrase).
I am one of THE MOST stubborn girl in my world. Me, the calm reassuring supportive full of medical advice nurse….will absolutely argue with myself over something so ridiculous as a meal/snack/indulgence/etc. BUT, we move along, meeting the needs of others, encouraging others, happily working and providing. Happily? sure. When you’ve got a lot of positive things going on you are “happy,” right? But something feels off, is my guess. Perhaps over the best cup of coffee and scone you look at that cup and think “I’m so glad it’s you and not juice. I hate juice.” Suddenly, your brain says “thank god you realized and are okay with that.”
In my randomness I believe I am not giving any decent advise that you asked. My message to you is take those words you say to your best friend and say them to yourself. Find a counselor. Ease into minor changes and take note. Why do you hate sleep? Are you afraid of what the next day brings? Expectations you are worried about? Embrace that yoga, embrace your marriage and what you also bring to it, have faith that you are a normal, beautiful being full of gifts and deserve to be cared for by yourself and others.
Then call your mom and cry some ugly tears. I bet you’ll hear a veryyyy long series of lovely and encouraging things.
The expectations we put on ourselves are usually self created-the world does NOT always have the same expectations we put upon ourselves. –> LOVE THIS.
And I love the idea of “ease into minor changes and take note” I totally hear you in that things usually have more beneath the surface.
I hate sleep because I have an idol of productivity and a fear of death (I spoke about this a bit in my 2017 recap) — thank you for reminding me to always remember the underlying meaning, to press into that and to BE OKAY WITH IT.
Embrace that yoga, embrace your marriage and what you also bring to it, have faith that you are a normal, beautiful being full of gifts and deserve to be cared for by yourself and others. <3
Thank you for your honesty! I love this! I too hate green juice! Especially if it has ginger and celery in it! And my alcohol tolerance has taken a steep dive as I’ve gotten older!
same same same!
Love this! I am a dietitian too, but have always worked in WIC and now in Head Start. I’ve never liked the idea of giving someone a meal plan/diet, so I have really enjoyed learning more about Intuitive Eating recently. It’s exactly what my brain has always thought deep down-and to find something that fits with that mentality is so fulfilling!
love that you can take IE into that setting!
I’m only starting to really educate myself-reading your blog, the IE book, listening to the Food Psych podcast when I can. But I was at a meeting today listening to a dietitian discuss obesity in children (particularly those in Head Start) and I just realized how my thinking is so different than the norm. You can teach a parent or child that a carrot is “healthier” than a french fry, but if they do not have the basic skills to cook or the basic support to pay bills or transport themselves to a grocery store, teaching them that is no help. Additionally, epigenetics play a huge roll. The children I am seeing are not exclusively “overweight” or “obese” b/c they eat too much or eat all the “wrong” foods. I wish the focus could be more on overall growth (since not everyone can be 50%) and basic life skills before it becomes all about the BMI #.
This is honestly so refreshing. I really appreciate when people just honestly say what they like and don’t like. Why is that so hard for all of us? It gets exhausting trying to be the creatures that God created us to be with our individual intellect and characteristics when we feel the pressure to be a certain way and do certain things.
Things I really don’t like: yogurt (the texture is a big no), barre classes, and rodent pets (hamsters for example). Some of these dislikes are kind of dumb but honestly they’re part of what make me ME. Thanks for the reminder of that Robyn!
YES. It holds us back from freedom.
rodent pets lol I died laughing. You are YOU!
I’m an RD and also struggle with how to respond to people who make comments once they find out what I do. Especially when they refer to their own body, call themselves fat, etc. It feels like there’s no right way to respond to that!! Or when they cite incorrect nutrition info…..do you correct them and risk sounding condenscending? Or just let them believe it and change the subject? Ha ha. Know that others feel your pain on that one!!
I try not to correct at all…I’ll sometimes just gently say…”Following my own journey to intuitive eating and accepting my body, I work with women who have disordered eating to do the same.” That takes the attention off them and trying to convince them and then just shares what you’re passionate about and care about. I’m not sure if thats the right way though – I think there are so many ways to do it but I haven’t quite figured it out!
I so appreciate you sharing this info about you and how you are you! I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog and the breadth of knowledge you share with us… Thanks girl!
so glad you enjoy Lauren! thanks for reading <3
I second Lauren’s comment. I love these types of posts and how you share who you are. Thank you!!
I’ll do more!
I am also an RD and always struggle with how to answer people. The first thing they say to me when they find that our are “can you make me a meal plan to lose weight” or “oh I don’t want to eat around you.” Its become on of my biggest pet peeves and I sometimes hesitate to tell people I’m an RD now because of it. I can totally relate to the awkwardness of responding to some people’s comments!
I agree with you that it can be irritating. I know people don’t mean to be that way but I’m like …if someone is a financial planner do people say, “hey can you do my budget?” “I don’t want to spend around you.” I think it just reiterates how entrenched diet culture and food morality is in our culture. I try NOT to ever tell people I’m an RD, I just say NP haha. A friend was like, “this is my RD friend Robyn!” and I’m was like (hand on face emoji let me shrivel up in the corner and hide myself lol
YESSSS to when people find out you’re an RD. I never know how to respond….it’s awkward no matter what…haha 🙂
lol glad I’m not alone 🙂
I am so happy you mentioned the fact that you don’t really like sleep because oh my goodness I can relate so much but I thought it was just me! I love your honesty in this post. You are wonderful.
nope you’re definitely not alone at all 🙂
Thanks so much for this post, I was nodding my head to so many of the things. I love your honesty!
so glad you enjoyed Ashley!
I loved reading this! I can definitely relate to your awkwardness about when you tell people you’re a dietitian. When people find out I have a nutrition practice (where I treat eating disorders) I get the same types of questions. I, too, feel so awkward because I never really no how to respond. Someone asked me for a Meal Plan the other day, and I was like, “Well, I don’t do meal plans, because I think people are more than a meal plan.” They looked at me like I was SO WEIRD. I then had to launch into how intuitive eating doesn’t always involve meticulous planning, etc. I can also relate to what you’re saying here about taking care of yourself with proper sleep and such. I love to sleep, but I just wish there were more hours in the day. I never really feel like I get all that I want to get done in a day and it feels like a never ending cycle. Thank you for sharing with us!
Great post! <3
Love this post! I’m 20 days ‘all in’ trying to regain my period after not having one for several years. It is so, so hard, but I know it is worth it. I love reading blogs like yours that are just truthful and real. I can’t wait for your amenorrhea e-course!
Hang in there – it’s SO WORTH IT!!
I love this! Thank you for being so honest with us, and it’s refreshing to read about bloggers who, yes, are human too! It can be easy to create an online image or focus on only intuitive eating information, and I enjoy reading about who you actually are as a person!
As for the self-care, I know writing has always been a form of self-care for me and I hope that in writing this post and getting things off your chest you felt relief as well!
Yes, so human!!
Green juice- I feel exactly the same! The bottles look so hip, the font is engaging, but the flavor leaves something to be desired. But, at least we tried!
hahah so agree
Love these honest, raw posts. All of our posts are actually, but this ramble of sorts was refreshing xoxo
*your posts
Love this post! I’d love to see more posts like these thrown into your regular content! Very fun to read and relatable!
Will do!
Love your authenticity and vulnerability Robyn! That is what makes this blog and your work so powerful. You are a skilled, knowledgeable and approachable person but you are also HUMAN! You have had SO MUCH change not just in the past year but in the past few years. Change, whether good or bad, is still a major stressor and takes our whole being time to adjust. It can feel like it has shaken you to your core and throw off habits, body functions, and emotions even when it is something we really wanted. So have grace with yourself…find a good therapist (Boston is loaded with them)- personally I would recommend someone who does embodiment work/energy work as it integrates the body, mind and spirit. We hold emotions in our body (as you know) and if that is not included in the counseling, we are missing a very important piece. Make sense?
So thanks to you for ALL that you are and for sharing yourself with us.
Have a wonderful weekend 🙂
Thanks Robyn. You really make many people feel less alone in the world. I love when people talk about their awkward social and professional moments. I’m generally quite articulate, but I definitely say weird shit to my co-workers then spend the weekend analyzing it over and over.
I have the opposite work personality. I’ll follow through on every task and project, but I become obsessed with it being perfect. I get extremely angry and lash out when people don’t give me credit for my work or criticize any mistakes. And if someone tries to blame their errors on me – forget about it, I’m irate! Maybe my fear deep down of not being good enough?
I find it hilarious that you don’t enjoy sleep. Do you like that calmness right when you wake up then roll back over back to sleep? It’s my favorite thing ever.
I can raise you on the green juice & admit I dont’ even like smoothies (: I LOVE fruits & vegetables, but would rather eat than drink my food (: I figure I only have so much hunger in a day & I only want to use it up on stuff I absolutly love!!
I love that you show who you are, not just what you do well but what you wish you were better at too because that is all of us!! I am a lot like you, always wanting to do my best at everything but realized that I will never be good at everything & now try & focus on what I’m best at.
You don’t have to drink anything liquid – enjoy those solids girl! I like chewing too 🙂
We have to do what matters – glad I’m not alone 🙂
Your honesty and openness is so refreshing to hear. Thank you.
And as to how to answer people who ask for diet/weight loss tips I think its totally appropriate to say that you help people establish a normal/peaceful relationship with food. And if their reaction is awkward maybe they just weren’t expecting to hear the small anti-diet voice (coming from a dietitian) throughout the roar of diet culture around them.
And with the alcohol comment, I’ve been really enjoying drinking fancy kombucha in wine or cocktail glass (maybe even with a garnish) to alternate with wine/drinks. To me, it feels exciting/ fun just like drinking a fancy cocktail.
And if their reaction is awkward maybe they just weren’t expecting to hear the small anti-diet voice (coming from a dietitian) throughout the roar of diet culture around them. –> love how you pointed this out, so helpful.
I have done kombucha in a fancy glass and I agree – it makes it fun and exciting! Maybe I’ll have to get back to this.
About the alcohol thing, I can relate. Once I turned 30, I figured out the hard way that I can’t handle liquor and am better with a glass or two of wine max. As for the sleep thing, have you tried power naps? They are my saving grace.
P.S. Did you get to Five Daughters Bakery in Franklin?!
Agreed!! I do power nap sometimes – like put my head down on a coffee shop table and sleep for 15 minutes….Nick thinks I’m crazy but it’s helpful 🙂
I didn’t but next time!!
As always, your blog posts seem to come at just the right time in my life. My last year has been crazy as well and I know that people look at me and seem to think I have everything together….but I don’t. Also trying to get back to counseling as well. Thank you for this post, thank you for your amazing blog, and thank you for being you! I’m so encouraged today because of you! <3
<3 I don't have it all together either. It's okay :)
Thanks for normalizing counseling and noting its helpfulness rather than addressing in a shameful way. (Cue Brene Brown.)
such a fan of counseling <3
So many of these resonated with me! Green juice also makes me gag! I can’t do it. I’ve tried so many times, but, alas, it’s just not for me. I am also terrible at sleeping. In part, because of fibromyalgia, but mostly due to the fact that I get bored when I don’t fall asleep fast enough and just start thinking about a million things, which then keeps me up longer. I’m working on it! Thanks for keeping it real, as always 🙂
Loved this post Robyn – particularly loved your thoughts on drinking. I’ve been in a habit of drinking a glass of wine with dinner for…a REALLY long time. And while there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, I feel better for my work day if I skip it during the week. And also love your honesty on your cycle – recently coming off of the IUD where I didn’t have my period for 2.5 years (don’t even get me started), my cycle is regulating and sometimes is longer/shorter. I know I have to trust the process of my hormones rebalancing (and also consider some stress at work), but it always is comforting to know that others experience the same thing. Have a happy Saturday!
It’s all about our motivations around alcohol and really any behavior. So know that nothing is inherently bad like you said 🙂
Trust the process! I know it’s hard and unknown but keep learning more about caring for yourself <3
I so relate to this struggle! I also tell people I’m a therapist instead of an RD because I want to avoid the barrage of questions about making them a meal plan, them not wanting to eat in front of me, etc. IF someone does know I’m an RD and they say something like “oh are you gonna judge what I’m eating?!” I usually say something like “not unless you want to pay my hourly rate which is pretty high”. Lol. That usually gets them to drop it!
this is genius! I should say I’m an eating disorder dietitian or a therapist lol
haha great end of conversation line 🙂
Even though I’m not an RD, I can relate to the awkwardness with the assumptions made about weight loss. My master’s thesis in creative writing was about EDs and HAES, and I’m surprised at how many people get uncomfortable even when I just use the phrase “Health at Every Size.” Just as you said, I don’t want to shame people or make them feel put down for wanting to lose weight, especially if they don’t know me but can see that I’m a relatively thin person. I imagine it would be even harder–and come up even more often–for you. Thanks for being so honest in this post.
Alcohol is estrogenic and may have something to do with your irregular periods, though obviously the stress contributes a great deal as well. Also the recommendation is for men to have no more than 2 drinks on a regular basis and 1 for women due to differences in body composition and hormonal effects on the liver, so you’ve already figured that out. Interesting post about yourself.
If anything my alcohol consumption has decreased so I’m not sure that’s the cause. The research I’ve read on alcohol and estrogen is on post menopausal women (I’m not there yet! 🙂 but if you have some other stuff I’d love to read it!
I’ll link to a few abstracts:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25581056
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27852187
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26728472
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26705260
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26674340
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26552431
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26289438- this one comments on specific hormonal levels with alcohol intake
Also, sorry for the double post, CDC recommendations on consumption
https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets/moderate-drinking.htm
sorry last post I swear, last one from the CDC
https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets/womens-health.htm
It’s okay you can post as many times as you would like – I think this generates an interesting discussion! Thanks for sending the links. I looked at the research articles that were cited on the CDC website.
Some things that I think are important to note when reading what the CDC has to say with alcohol and women’s health — that this connection is with binge and heavy drinking.
Binge drinking – This pattern of drinking usually corresponds to 5 or more drinks on a single occasion for men or 4 or more drinks on a single occasion for women, generally within about 2 hours.
For women, heavy drinking is typically defined as consuming 8 drinks or more per week.
From the research articles these are the findings… so YES alcohol certainly has an effect on women’s reproductive health but it takes a lot of alcohol for that to occur. In the below study, there were actually no menstrual abnormalities found in occasional drinkers (which aligns with the recommendation of 1 drink day or less for women) This research shows abnormalities in women drinking at least 3 or more drinks per DAY. So 100% I agree alcohol can affect hormonal health but it takes much more than the recommended 1 drink per day by the CDC.
Heavy, social and occasional users drank an average of 7.81 (heavy), 3.84 (social), and 1.22 ( occasional) drinks/day. ***No evidence of menstrual cycle dysfunction or abnormality in reproductive hormone levels was found in the occasional drinkers**** or in two of the social drinkers who consumed less than an average of three drinks/day. In contrast, 50% of the social drinkers who consumed more than three drinks/day and 60% of the heavy drinkers had significant derangements of menstrual cycle and reproductive hormone function. The major abnormality found in social drinkers was anovulatory cycles, and three of the five women who were heavy drinkers had persistent hyperprolactinemia. These findings suggest that alcohol-related menstrual cycle and reproductive hormone dysfunction may be more prevalent among women who are social and heavy drinkers than has been assumed previously.
This study also shows increased PMS and heavy menstrual flow (not necessarily missing or irregular periods) and for strong associations between alcohol and menstrual health it takes drinking 6 drinks/day at least 1x week. Which is a lot of alcohol intake that is concerning in and of itself.
In this stratified household sample of 917 women (weighted n = 2552), dysmenorrhea, heavy menstrual flow, and premenstrual discomfort increased with drinking level and were particularly strongly associated with reported consumption of 6 or more drinks a day at least once a week.
This was really interesting to tease through so thank you for sending this along in a really kind and respectful way and generating a discussion!
I’m also an RD who only has awkward replies to people’s diet questions. (A) I’m a clinical dietitian working in a hospital to help people who are quite ill and (B) I don’t believe in diets or deprivation. I’m with you on learning to love your body and I think that’s more important than “dieting.”
Love this post..thank you for always being so honest with yourself and your readers!! 🙂
Glad to know I’m not the only one who feels so awkward! Thanks of reading 🙂
For those looking for an extraordinary fish sushi experience, the omakase restaurant is a culinary haven. The passion for freshness, the art of generosity and the precision of the chef create a gastronomic experience that exceeds all expectations.