I spent Friday and Saturday at the MEDA conference and it was such an awesome learning + networking experience. Jessi asked me if I was going months ago, but it took me until a day before to finally finalize going both Friday and Saturday and I’m so so so so so glad I did!
MEDA stands for multi-service eating disorder association, meaning there were physicians, therapists, dietitians, nurses, nurse practitioners and other clinicians at the conference. I really loved being able to learn from and talk with people from so many different fields, yet all of us specialized in eating disorders. And meeting Paige and Haley in person was so fun! By the end of our 48 hours together it felt like I had known these new friends for years.
Something really unexpected that the conference did for me was really solidify what matters to me when it comes to this work and my life. I feel like I’ve been in this transitional season over the past several months and have slowly, but surely, began to shape and form the vision I want for my career. But even more so over the past month or so I feel like I’ve began to get really, really clear on what I do and don’t want to focus on when it comes to business and career. I’m somebody who can get really clear and then I see a shiny object or I get distracted with “shoulds” and before I know it I’ve crossed over 4 lanes on the freeway.
This weekend helped me find my lane again and even more so, solidly that yes…THIS is my lane. Nick had been gone traveling for work all week so Friday after the conference wrapped up I came home to spend some much needed time with him – we walked over to Urban Grape to pick up a bottle of wine and then onto B.Good for burgers + fries. I was craving sweet potato fries and also wanted to veg out on the couch so this was our quickest option. Last minute I went with the chicken sandwich with spicy slaw and avocado. It was the best meal ever, but pretty good for affordable takeout. We’ll be back.
Saturday morning I answered email since I neglected my inbox Friday – I usually don’t answer email on Saturday, but I did a little in the morning to respond to anything that needed attention. And then I went on a morning jog along the Charles River. It was cold but in a way that leaves you refreshed. Does anyone know what I’m talking about?
And then I made a green smoothie and took this toast with me to eat on my way to the conference. Avocado and everything seasoning on one half, sun butter + banana on the other.
I learned a lot and I also felt like I was affirmed in things I already incorporate into my practice. Especially when it comes to counseling, sometimes when I’m working with a client we get creative and are figuring out things together because xyz thing didn’t work and then we try something else etc etc. It was reallyyyyy reassuring when I realized, “oh, these things they are teaching me right now…I’m already doing.” and that boosts my confidence and also helps me to refine that part of my practice even more. I loved loved loved the talk Dr. Gaudiani gave on palliative approaches and end of life care in adults with eating disorders. I’ve been fangirling her hard since I discovered her about a year ago and could listen to her teach for hours on end. Also Ragen Chastain gave such a powerful talk on eating disorder recovery and size acceptance – if you ever get a chance to hear her speak I highly recommend! She’s incredibly influential.
Saturday after the conference, sadly Paige had to hop a flight so we missed her, but Jessie, Haley and I headed to Barcelona for wine + tapas and sat there for 3 hours. A great wrap on the conference. I told them this at dinner, but it’s conferences like this and being around people that do the same work you do that make me feel insanely grateful to get to do this work and be involved in this community. And you guys reading this are included in those people that allow me to do this work so thank YOU.
Sunday I ate a smaller-ish pancake for breakfast to save room for brunch after church. These were leftover blender pancakes with nut butter and banana + maple syrup I added to the plate after this photo because soggy syrup pancakes are no good.
We’ve gone back to Mosaic church a couple times and are hopeful that maybeee our church dating days are coming to a close. Afterward we got brunch with our new-ish friends Brian and Amanda and their baby boy Luke at Cinquecento. I ordered the cheesy polenta with mushrooms and poached eggs. It was cheesy and fab. Plus a “sugar donut” I shared with Nick that tasted more like a fried cake and was also fab.
The rest of the day included grocery shopping, eating popcorn and watching UNC lose…bad (that was rough, especially for Nick) and eating leftovers for dinner. I didn’t take a picture of dinner…
Which ties into my thoughts lately on this blog and career and how that fits with my life. A month or so ago I was jogging and had this thought that doesn’t sound like an “a-ha” moment, but it was. I realized I didn’t like writing weekend recap posts and I was resenting it. But what kept me writing them was that you all really enjoy them and I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I really REALLY appreciate and love you guys. But then I realized this wasn’t healthy for me anymore. My brain was never shutting off. All weekend I would be thinking about what pictures I needed to make sure I was taking. I was annoyed at having to take out my phone at dinner or when Nick and I sat down to eat so I could have that photo for the recap. And then all day Sunday I would be thinking about having to write the weekend recap post. It would just hang over me and as a result, I never felt like I was truly shut off from work throughout the week because work bled into the weekend and then Monday was here.
I’ve experienced the same thing with social media. Which is why I’m posting less actual IG pictures and you don’t see me on it much over the weekend anymore. I’ve been writing this blog for almost six years – the first 2 1/2 years are archived since I was in a different place personally and professionally when I began and that content doesn’t align with where I am now – but six years feel like a long time to me. And although I don’t plan to quit writing in this place anytime soon, I think how I go about writing and how I engage with social media is changing. I have a love/hate with social media and I think a lot of people, including maybe you, also do too.
I feel like over the past year I’ve been in this push and pull with defining who I want to be as a professional and where I want to draw the line with work and life. Is there a balance? What does that even MEAN? So I feel like this has been a work in progress that I’m finally starting to feel clarity on in these beginning months of 2018. I don’t have the answer for what work life balance means. And I also think the capacity to which you work and the rhythms of how you work change as life seasons change.
I feel really thankful to make my own hours, my own rules and my own income with the blog and private practice. I never in a million trillion years thought this business would grow to what it has….much of that being over the past year, with the previous five years paving the way for this past year of growth. I also feel really thankful that my soul freaking bleeds for this work. That might sound dramatic, but I feel like that’s the best way I can describe it. So all that say, I can work 14 hours a day doing this work if I let myself…a major thing that helps me not to do that is relationships. Friendships and my family and my husband. So that’s good.
I don’t think that what I’m feeling is burn out because I’ve definitely had that. Hi, nursing school. But rather I think that I want less distraction and I want to either be 100% present in my life or 100% present in my work (which is my life too but you get what I’m saying..) So now that I’m just word vomiting and external processing as I write…here’s what I think that means for me.
My number one focus is being a really good practitioner and continuing to develop my skills and knowledge. That’s what I care about most – caring for my clients and patients, staying on top of the research, growing in my nursing + counseling skills, and creating content that educates and empowers women. And if that’s my number one, I can do that and also draw firm boundaries with social media and the blog because when those bleed too much into my life, my mind doesn’t have time to reset.
So a lot of words later I think what I’m saying is that I won’t be writing weekend recap posts anymore and you won’t see me on social media in the evenings or on the weekends unless for some reason it feels natural and I want to engage. What you can expect though is to still see lifestyle content in addition to the intuitive eating, women’s health, hormonal health and food content. So I will still share snippets of my life and other things and still monologue about life stuff on Instagram stories sometimes for those of you that enjoying listening (I love you btw 🙂 …but I’m craving more privacy instead of recapping events or days in my life.
If I’m honest with you and myself, my fear is that if I retreat back with sharing my personal life I won’t be meeting expectations. So as the blog shifts slightly I hope you will stick around. And if I’m not on social media in the evenings or weekends, know that I’ll be back on Monday morning. 🙂
Now your turn…setting boundaries and holding to them is HARD STUFF. Are there areas in your life that you feel like need some boundaries? What might you do differently if there ____ didn’t hold you back? I’d love to hear it in the comments! <3
![Our First Weekend In Boston [Recap]](https://www.thereallife-rd.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/IMG_1400-150x150.jpg)
Hi Robyn,
I’m a very new reader who just discovered your blog and instagram account within the last few weeks. Anyway, I have enjoyed both so thoroughly and just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU for all the work you are doing!!! And, after reading this post, I applaud you for respecting what feels right for you and navigating the world of sharing and social media accordingly. You have gained a new reader who will be sticking around regardless of how often you post. You deserve to have your weekend breaks too! Thank you again!
Randee – first, WELCOME! I’m so glad you are enjoying the blog and finding it helpful! Your works means so so so much to me so thank YOU!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on how the blog and social media are influencing your life! I feel like that’s something that people often over look and they just want consistent content from creators (on any platform) without taking into account that it is an actual human person who still has to live their lives and take care of themselves!
I can relate, I feel like I’m constantly thinking about work when I’m not there and it drives me crazy. Still figuring out a way to shut my brain off!
Thank you Allison for your encouraging comment – man, I can relate too and I’m figuring it out myself 🙂
Robyn – I totally understand and support your decision to set some boundaries. As with any season of life, there are times when we feel more free to share and be open and that feels good and there are times when we need more privacy/boundaries. With social media, it is an ever changing and ever evolving process. Once again, you are being an example to us by your honesty and authenticity and by taking care of YOUR needs.
Thanks for all you do!
Thank you for your loving support Suzanne <3
Hi Robyn! I’m glad you enjoyed the MEDA conference. I’d be interested in hearing more about what Dr. Gaudiani had to say about palliative care for those with Eating Disorders. This sounds like a controversial yet important topic. Thanks!
Certainly not something that everyone agrees with but very very interesting and a compelling point of view I think! Email me if you want to hear more info
Thank you for sharing your struggle with balancing work and life. I appreciate you being so open and I totally understand. With the type of work that you do it would be so easy to work all the time and as you said other important areas of your life are neglected. I will always follow you! I think you will feel such contentment in making this decision. Thank you for all of your hard work.
I already do and especially with so much love and support for you all – thank you so much Lynda! <3
Nothing but love and support for you, Robyn. I couldn’t agree more. I actually took an intentional break from social media all weekend, and it was glorious. At the end of the day, you have to do what is best for you — that, in of itself, is modeling ultimate self-care (which I know you believe wholeheartedly in!).
XO
Aww Edie thank YOU! So glad you are doing what is best for you too <3
I think this post describes perfectly a lot of the boundary issues that professionals in the social media/blogging space face. I have been there, too, with wondering what the balance is between personal and professional. In the beginning, when I was first building my blog and practice, I POURED myself into it and it really felt like I never shut off. BUT, at the time, that felt right and like what I wanted because I was so passionate about it. As things have settled, I, too, have felt the need to make more of a distinction in personal and professional. Now, I share mostly in a professional context on my blog. And, when the mood strikes and I have something interesting to share (like trips, favorite things, etc.), I share those, too. It’s definitely a balancing act and it takes time to figure out what works! I definitely am not going anywhere!
so hear you and agree Amber and I appreciate you sticking around :))
Hey Robyn! Thank you for sharing your thought process and decision with us – I’m a huge fan because you have created an online community that is authentic to you, and I am glad you will continue to do that! On the flip side of weekend recaps, I’ve realized I can spend so much time watching others live their weekends on social media that I don’t get out and live my own life. So that’s an area where I’ve realized I need to set boundaries!
Kelly I never even thought of that and commend you so much for your honesty in your self reflection, that’s so admirable. Yes to setting boundaries around that and enjoying the life you get to live!
Hi Robyn! I have been reading your blog for a very long time and have to be honest when I say I look forward to your weekend recaps so much! BUT, i completely understand where you are coming from and at the end of the day, you have to do what you have to do inorder to be happy and not overwhelmed. We definitely don’t want you making posts ONLY because we want them, because then they arent as genuine, they’re just forced. I will FOR SURE continue to read and follow along & I respect so much that you’re taking a step back from
how much you engage in social media. So
while I will miss your weekend recaps so much, I will always be here to stay!
I appreciate your honest Vanessa :)) And YES! I want to be writing form a genuine want and not to just be churning out content. Thanks for staying here Vanessa through the changes – your loyalty means so much!
You could ditch all the personal stuff, and I’d still love your blog. Your experience, education, and viewpoint is what keeps me learning and reading!
love reading this from you cate! I love writing those posts the most!
Robyn,
After suffering from irregular periods for years due to disordered eating patterns, overexercise, stress about eating/not eating, I discovered you and your blog. I cannot say that I am fully recovered, but your words, wisdom, ‘food recaps’, posts and encouraging words have led me to shed the guilt/thought patterns that have tormented me for years. I just want you to know that because of you my life is back on the right track and I haven’t been this happy in I can’t remember when. While I completely understand your need to cut back on this site, I still look forward to seeing your posts.
Thank you for being a driving force for body positive behaviors/thoughts in a world where that is MUCH needed.
Laura
LAURA! You sharing your story means so so so much to me. Knowing that this space is having such impact on others fills me up so incredibly much. Giving you a virtual hug!! xx
Thanks for sharing!
I loved getting to know you through your posts, but I understand needing privacy! To be honest, many bloggers can talk about their days and weeks… but you actually know stuff. If you were to only post 1-2 times a week but focus more on in depth content, that would be of great value to your readers. Not many bloggers have the education and professional background that you do.
Thank you so much Korie for your input – that’s encouraging that you find such value in the deep content posts and those are the ones I love to write most!
I love the raw honesty of this post. Please do exactly what feels right to you, and know that your loyal followers will follow you wherever you lead. 🙂
Thank you so much Nicole <3
I LOVE that you are creating boundaries and I think people will really respect that! Not to mention you will probably feel so much more fulfilled. Proud of you girl! Also I was so bummed about UNC losing too! Between them and UVA my bracket is shot haha
hahahah UVA was SOOO SAD. And then UNC was another blow. I think a lot of peoples brackets are trashed 🙂
Thanks so much for your support! xx
Thank you for your update post Robyn!
I have been a reader for several years now and your blog has consistently been one of my absolute favourites.
I admit I am sad to hear that you won’t be doing weekend recap posts anymore. While I’m sure many folks reading your content derive the most benefit from your topic-focused posts on women’s health/hormones/diet etc.., I personally have had the greatest healing from following your daily life content
.
Your ability to lead by example (from what you eat, to where you go, to time you spend with friends, activities you do on weekends etc.) are all what have helped me heal and feel excited and inspired to enjoy and live a life I love and feel comfortable with.
I fully respect your decision (and know I would feel somewhat stressed having a weekend-recap hanging over me every weekend!), but I thought I would let you know that for some readers, like myself, these are the posts that make the biggest difference. I find it much easier and more inspiring to look at what someone like you is doing and eating in their everyday life and use that to inspire my own life, rather than try to apply specific health/medical knowledge to how I eat and manage my health.
Of course I am eager and happy to continue following along with you and your beautiful life! Just thought I’d share that perspective!
Many thanks 🙂
I relate to this. 🙂
Robyn, I can’t even remember how long I’ve been reading your blog, but it’s probably been 5 years or so. I enjoy the weekend recaps and the lifestyle posts that make me feel like I know you, but they’re not the only reason I read. I always feel like you’re genuine in your posts, and I wouldn’t want that feeling to go away just for the sake of cranking out a post. Every fiber of my being is an introvert, so I can’t imagine being such a big presence on social media, and I imagine that it can be quite draining. I have a love/hate relationship with social media, and I’m not even a business owner! The moral of the story is that you’re not letting me down by ending the weekend recaps! Take care of yourself and your relationships!
Thanks for being honest and open with your thoughts. I appreciate your example of a wife, fellow Jesus follower, and health care provider. I totally get the whole social media / privacy / work / relationships / etc “balance”. I read your blog because you are very wise and humble and SO knowledge on so many issues women are facing today. I love seeing what is going on in your life but don’t mind if that goes away. Do what’s best for you and Nick!
Hey Robyn, I just wanted to say that I think it’s amazing that you are setting boundaries that work for you! I definitely have had to learn how to do this in areas of my life, and while it’s challenging, it’s very much worth it. I love reading your thoughts on the blog no matter what form that ends up taking. There are so many unhealthy and unrealistic blogs out there, and yours is one of the few that I still read. Thank you for always being vulnerable and honest.
Yes girl! Proud of you! You aren’t missing any expectations by not doing your weekend round ups! You are already blessing so many people with who you are and what you share! xoxo
I totally get the setting boundaries stuff. Although I enjoy reading and looking at the pics, I’m someone who shares almost nothing (like 1 post every 2 months, maybe?). I realize this is part of your business but I care more about the posts with content and life instead of life itself haha also because sometimes I see people I’m following and I can’t even recall why I’m following that person. So you I know it’s because of the clever advice + positive energy + simple way of looking at stuff. although it’s fun to see other parts of your life that’s not my main reason to follow you (hope it doesn’t sound rude).
And about separating work and life: I do think it exists and I do think it’s healthy! I work from home so I usually try to follow my buddy schedule so I don’t go crazy on a working forever but not really working loop. And who doesn’t want a break from social media? so keep the great posts coming but follow your heart on this!
Hi Robyn! So glad to hear you’re setting boundaries for yourself. I too have a love/hate relationship with social media, and I think it’s wonderful that you’re stepping back from posting all the time (especially when it feels forced). While I love all of your writing, it’s the posts on intuitive eating, HAES, and just health and well-being overall that I truly look forward to. What you do on your personal time is private and up to you! Enjoy your newfound freedom from photo-snapping and being online 24/7!
Robyn, you are so brave! I so greatly admire you for sticking to what you know to be true for yourself. Of course I’ll miss these weekend updates, but I’m excited to see how your blog evolves! I will always be a faithful reader of your blog! It truly has made a huge impact in my life and recovery!
Good for you. Having to be “on” all the time isn’t healthy and having time to shut off and just be with the ones you love is so important. You’re not disappointing anyone, if anything you are being relatable and modeling what self care can look like. I am a counselor so I probably sound cliche but self care is not selfish. I think it is so awesome that you are setting boundaries that feel right to you. 😃
Congrats to you for honoring what feels right to YOU!
I hear you on thinking about all of the “should” stuff too much and veering off course before you even realize it. It reminds me of a series of sermons that a preacher in Atlanta (Andy Stanley) led several years ago called “Guardrails”. It was about the importance of establishing guardrails in your life in order to stay in your lane and stay true to yourself – the guardrails help to keep you ‘safe’ in a certain sense. Anyway, all that to say good for you 🙂 Life is crazy enough as it is so you just gotta do you!
As you say all the time – you do you! I don’t think any of us have expectations of you so much as we just appreciate whatever work you do and are more than happy to flow with your lifestyle. I’ve often thought it must be a pain to keep remembering to take photos all weekend. Congrats on coming to a place of clarity where you know what you want and are prepared to act on it. I’m so proud that you can do that for yourself, and it shows that you are a really strong, independent and resilient woman. I’ll still be here soaking up whatever you post 🙂 Rooting for you!
I SOOO love and appreciate that you won’t write the weekend recap posts unless you want to; I used to feel like I had to blog at least 3-5 times a week, but then the posts felt forced, and I felt like you do too. I felt like I had to always have my phone out and always be taking pictures of my food and such, and I could never be present.
All that to say, you are one of my role models Robyn for being present and loving time with friends. I always love hearing about how you hung out with your friends for hours, just talking, and building relationships. It’s always a motivator for me to spend that time with people I love and be all there.
And I totally appreciate when you can engage when it feels natural, but please don’t feel like you have to do it! We’ll be here to read when you come back. <3
Wow, I scrolled through a lot of supportive and loving comments to get down to the bottom and write my own! Clearly I am just echoing much of the sentiment that has already been left here for you, but I still wanted to chime in!
I’ve always enjoyed your recaps and I feel that through them I’ve come to care about Nick, your mom, and your friends! But it occurred to me after a recent one- I think the New hampshire weekend- that you are taking photos of your food during these trips/events/etc. I kinda wondered to myself I wonder if that’s annoying?? (I’ve never been one to take pictures of my food for instagram). I also think that you sharing real life/real time eats is probably helpful for some who are in the beginning of their intuitive eating journey and looking for role models so to speak (aka someone who eats two pieces of toast), but I know for me I kind of caught myself wanting to mimic your food (and others in the space, not just you). So for where I am in my journey- shifting away from looking to others for inspiration for what i put on my plate- your shift in the blog makes a lot of sense. I also am really excited to know that this will continue to be a resource for really good information.
Thanks for all that you do- very much looking forward to following along with the next phase of the blog!
Robyn: Your ability to realize that part of what you do wasn’t really working for you anymore is part of why we love you. You aren’t afraid to grow and adjust as your seasons of life/work change. You setting a needed boundary is a great example to your readers. Something that worked yesterday may not work as well today or tomorrow. Your content is genuine and caring and healing and informative and I always look forward to reading it. You do what you need to do for your life balance. I doubt any readers will wander off while you enjoy your weekend 🙂
Intuitive Working, couldn’t make more sense! The more I engage in the Intuitive Eating concept the more the idea of Intuitive Living/Working/Breathing etc. comes into play. It only makes 100% sense that you follow your Intuitive self in all aspects of life and you and your followers and clients will benefit. Ty for all you do Robyn and for following your intuition.