1. This Baby
I’m sure some of you have seen this picture floating around the internet. Every time I see it I laugh because it’s so great. Summer is almost in full swing which means bathing suit season and I hope this picture helps ease some of the anxiety, insecurity or pressure you might feel at the thought of putting on a swimsuit. And know that it’s okay if you don’t love being in a bathing suit. I don’t get excited about being in a bathing suit and I think that’s normal and okay. A bathing suit simply isn’t what makes me feel best in my body.
But I also really love the sun and the beach or a pool and you can’t do that in clothes. I guess you could, but for me it wouldn’t feel the same. I think sometimes we tend to think other women don’t struggle with body acceptance as much as we ourselves do, when that’s probably not true. I’m human too and while I do share the message of body acceptance all the time, that doesn’t mean I get in a bathing suit and think, “You go girl!” It’s more like, “This isn’t my first clothing choice but what is my first choice is caring for my body, enjoying my life and engaging in conversations and experiences that matter and this bathing suit allows me to do that. Now go enjoy your life and focus on what matters Robyn.”
2. The Crown
I don’t keep up with pop culture, but I do find the royal family fascinating. Especially after my mom and I visited London last January I found myself wanting to know and learn more and more. I think I find it so interesting because a monarchy is such a foreign concept. And I think Meghan Markle is just cool and a boundary pusher. So Nick and I started watching the Crown last week after hearing friends rave about it and even after a couple shows, I’m into it.
3. Weekend in Newport
For Memorial Day weekend we drove down to Newport, RI and rented a little Airbnb with one of our really good couple friends from New York. When I find myself missing New York, what I’m missing is the people and they are some people I really miss. It was a really relaxing weekend and fun to explore Newport since I’ve never been.
The best thing I ate all weekend was this lunch of swordfish tacos with slaw and a pineapple salsa that was perfect eaten outside in the sunshine. The fries look like nothing special, but were surprisingly some of the best fries I’ve eaten lately.
4. Morning Routines
I’ve gotten into this pattern lately where I’m going to bed later and then not waking up until 7 or so. Which is fine, but I have client appointments that start early in the morning so it doesn’t leave me with much of a morning to read, eat breakfast in a non-rushed way, get some fresh air before I sit down to see clients for the morning and pull myself together. It feels all crunched together. I’m someone that actually doesn’t do well with structure and routine. I really wish that was my natural tendency, but over the years I’ve realized I have to work to incorporate that into my life because it surely does not come naturally. Once I read about Gretchen Rubin’s four tendencies (which help you better understand how you form habits and respond to expectations) everything in my life felt validated. I was like, OHHHHHH. I GET IT NOW. I highly recommend figuring out what tendency you are by clicking that link – at least for me it was helpful.
All that to say, I would love to get into bed earlier so I can wake up earlier and have a calmer morning with more of a rhythm than a free for all. Essentially, I need to parent myself a little better and simply start getting ready for bed earlier. There’s noting that I have to do that late at night. But lately I’ve felt like a sponge and have been wanting to learn more and more professionally (which is a good thing, but not so good when it starts making my mornings crazy) so at night I’m reading a book or article or listening to a webinar. Or let’s be real, some nights I’m just mindlessly scrolling through instagram. Goal this coming week….bed time by 10pm. If you do the quiz, share with me what tendency you are in the comments!
5. Self Compassion
Kristen Neff is a world recognized expert in self compassion and her work is awesome. Cultivating self compassion is critical if we want to find peace with food and our bodies. When I began my own journey, it felt really weird to be more kind and compassionate towards myself because I had spent most of my life bullying myself. I talk a lot about self compassion with clients, especially when doing body image work, and this is a topic we dialogued through during last week’s live Q&A session for my e-course. We talked through tools and tips to help foster more self compassion and how we overcome what gets in the way of having more self compassion for ourselves. I highly recommended checking out Kirsten Neff’s website where she has all kinds of resources and tools for you to get started on your own journey towards self compassion. If that resonates with you, I hope you find her site helpful!
Have a great week!
Love all of this!
I LOVE Gretchen Rubin’s framework of the Four Tendencies! I am a classic Upholder and I always wondered why no one got anything done except for me (and on the other hand, I was always super stressed out because I wanted to meet all my expectations). The Four Tendencies also has been a huge game changer in my relationship (and even though my boyfriend as a Questioner questions the validity of the framework, he grumpily agrees on many statements made about Questioners).
Yes knowing Nick’s tendencies have been so helpful!!
Great post, Robyn. I took the Four Tendencies quiz and am an upholder. I feel like this is pretty accurate- I tend to meet others’ expectations as well as my own, but sometimes I get anxiety or feel uncertain when clear outer expectations aren’t laid out for me. I can also feel overwhelmed or like I have failed when I cannot meet expectations.
Also Newport is so beautiful I hope you enjoyed!! I’m from New Jersey but need to check out that fish taco place the next time I go! Do you remember the name of the restaurant?
I’m so glad it felt accurate for you Leia 🙂
It was so beautiful in Newport!! I ate the tacos at the International Tennis Club (I think that’s the name??)
I’m in love with Gretchen Rubin and her sister, Elizabeth Craft! I’ve been listening to their podcast, Happier, for years and highly recommend it. Liz now has a podcast as well with her writing partner called Happier in Hollywood, which I also love! And I’m most definitely an Upholder (with a rebellious side when I get too anxious 🙂 ).
I’m an upholder, too routined Lol
I need some upholder in me!
I love quizzes! I am mostly an Upholder with a little bit of Rebel mixed in. 🙂 I’m definitely adding The Four Tendencies to my summer reading list. Have a great Monday, Robyn!
I’m a rebel and wish I wasn’t so much! I feel like it makes my life way harder than it needs to be lol
Have a great week!
I’m an obliger. No surprise there – always wanting to please people and get external validation (something I’m actively working towards going against in therapy)
I’m a huge fan of therapy Christy 🙂
I would love to know what tendency you are, Robyn. I’m an upholder 🙂 Great post, as always!
I’m a rebel which I don’t love but have tried to work with that tendency 🙂
I haven’t read the book about the four tendencies, but I’m an upholder through and through. I took the quiz, but I think anyone who knows me could’ve called me out as an upholder even without the quiz. 😉 I really appreciate your thoughts about bathing suit season. I have never been a fan of wearing a bathing suit, but I’ve also never been a fan of hot weather! I would choose mountains over the beach 100% of the time, so I can’t even remember the last time I put on a bathing suit, ha!
I’m totally mountains over beach as well too!
I am a questioner! Love Gretchen Rubin and her tendencies framework. Also a huge fan of the podcast! What tendency are you?
A rebel. Not one that I would pick for myself but its helpful to know that about myself!
Thanks for the quiz! I am an upholder…and the description really fits me haha. Something I’ve been learning this past year is that I often put very high expectations on myself. What tendency are you? I may have missed it but don’t think you shared?
I’m a rebel! Not one I have picked ha but it helped me understand myself SO MUCH
Love the beach body meme!! And I’m an obliger (but I definitely think part of me is an upholder) I’m actually reading Better Than Before right now, and it’s so cool to learn more about habits (even though I don’t agree with all her thoughts on nutrition haha
YES! She is amazing, but speaks about food in a really disturbed way on the podcast. I’m sure it works great for her, but she should consider her audience and influence. Both she and her sister talks about weight as if it’s a given that everyone wants to lose/get thinner.
I haven’t heard her thoughts on food or her podcast so I’m not familiar with that side of her work. For now, I’ll focus on the 4 Tendencies 🙂
Interesting quiz! I’m an Upholder—no surprise to me there. Love my routines and structure 🙂 I think having my husband take this quiz could provide some valuable insight for us. Our Love Languages are complete opposites so I’m betting we will see something similar here. Sometimes it’s just good to remember that not everyone sees the world the same way I do 🙂
Nick and I are opposite in love language, tendencies and Myers Briggs – I guess opposites do attract and you are so right, everyone sees the world so differently!
Thank you for that quiz. I love those quizzes that help us understand ourselves a bit better. And I love just how eager you are to learn Robyn. I can definitely tell when you do your Instagram live videos that you love learning and if you don’t know something you’re eager to learn about that too. And those big chunky fries look amazing alongside those tacos.
I was thinking “Robyn must be a rebel” before I even saw your answer 😉 ! I remember when we hung out in NYC talking about our personalities, so I guessed right. I’m going to take the quiz now, but guessing I’m an upholder 🙂
Hope Boston is treating you well lovely!
Wah I’m an obliger – it makes life pretty hard! Always frustrated with myself! Would adore to be sometime who finds routine easy. There are SO many things I want to do!
Love your stuff by the way. It’s helping me hugely.
Add another tally in the Upholder column.
Well, it SAYS that I’m an Upholder, but I swear I don’t feel that way. I definitely feel like I have a lot of rebel in me because I SO hate it when I can’t do what I want to do and I have a hard time signing up for things because I know it will commit me to something. HOWEVER, if I do agree to do something, I for sure carry through with it, so maybe that’s where the Upholder comes in.
I love you discussion about bathing suits and body positivity. I agree with you in recognizing that wearing a bathing suit does NOT mean you have to feel amazing about it. Trying to make yourself feel awesome about something that you don’t may be too overwhelming in that action alone.
I’m a rebel! I have noticed my tendencies change through recovery. Before, I would say I did not have a tendency to really listen to my own voice at all. Now, I do! Yet, I also am learning how to balance that with also listening to others. It’s kind of funny because I am definitely a people pleaser so I was a little surprised to see that I have a rebel tendency.
I’m SUCH a questioner. Literally always questioning everything. Maybe that’s why I’m a sociology + philosophy major haha!