Exercise was the hardest hurdle for me in developing a peaceful relationship with food, movement and my body. It was easier for me to eat intuitively when I was still exercising x amount of days per week or for x amount of time. If I didn’t exercise, eating intuitively was almost impossible. It wasn’t until I really dug in and did the work to recover from hypothalamic amenorrhea that I faced the reality of my relationship with exercise head on.
Physical activity, for a very long time, was a coping mechanism for me. I enjoy movement. I love being active and being outside and moving my body and getting sweaty. I love all of those things. But it was really easy for me to let those healthy reasons to exercise get tangled up in using exercise to micromanage my body size and justify my food choices. Exercise was also the primary way I managed anxiety, dealt with difficult emotions and felt “safe.”
Six years later and I’m thankfully in a much different place. Not being able to work out can sometimes leave me feeling disappointed if I was looking forward to going on a run or going to a barre class, but it doesn’t leave me anxious anymore. Moving my body feels like a privilege, not a requirement. What I eat isn’t contingent on my exercise for that day. What I learned is that feeling disappointed and feeling anxious are two different things. Disappointment is an appropriate emotion to not being able to exercise. Anxiousness, not so much. I was anxious about so much more than the exercise itself.
There’s a difference between exercising for health and exercising for appearance. With one of my clients, we’ve been working on moving towards a more flexible relationship with exercise for a few months now. Last week we were talking about beliefs she holds surrounding her current exercise routine. One of them she shared was that she wants to be healthy and not end up with a chronic disease. We dialogued back and forth for a bit about exercising for health vs exercising to maintain a certain body size/shape. If you are currently in a place where you feel rigid about your current exercise routine…meaning if you don’t exercise x amount of days per week for x amount of minutes you feel uneasy…you’re probably not exercising for health reasons. It might be helpful to take a step back and get really honest with yourself so you can get to the root of your motivations to exercise.
I don’t think we need hour long spin classes or bootcamps to be healthy. I’m not saying people shouldn’t do them. If you enjoy those classes and they help you live a better, more fulfilling life – do them! I really enjoy long distance running. I like to do that. I’m not saying do or don’t do certain movement. What I am saying is that 6+ hours of structured physical activity a week where you’re breathing hard and breaking a good sweat…that is not a requirement to be healthy. Aside from training for a race or competition, the underlying motivators for that amount of exercise are usually appearance or wanting to numb out from painful and uncomfortable stuff.
Health is far more flexible than a rigid exercise routine. “If calories didn’t exist, what type of movement would you do?” — that’s a question I ask my clients sometimes. The answers are always different than what they are currently doing. Sometimes just a little different and sometimes vastly different, but always different.
I attended the Female Athlete Conference last week here in Boston. It was fantastic. So many incredible, brilliant speakers and attendees. I don’t work with athletes much, but I still learned a lot and took home information and tips to integrate into my practice right away. Exercise was obviously talked about a lot. On the first day of the conference, I was visiting the exhibition tables and came across this handout. I thought it was an awesome resource so I’m sharing a photo of it below.
It’s geared towards the athlete, but I think the principles apply to everyone. The only changes I’d make under the “healthy exercise” portion would be:
Set point weight and health are sustained during repeated exercise routine.
Exercising with others or in social situations versus in secret or always alone.
If you’re reading this wondering how the heck to move away from a rigid relationship with exercise to one which is flexible and healthy, you’re in good company. I’ve written a lot of posts about exercise which I hope are helpful. Sometimes you need one-on-one support with a therapist and/or dietitian – that’s okay too. But also know having new, positive lived experiences and realizing nothing crazy happened and you’re okay….that’s imperative to this journey. Those experiences build body trust and new belief systems for you. That might mean you need to take a break from exercise all together to shift the belief that you have to exercise in order to eat xyz. By not exercising and still eating xyz and seeing that you are still here, nothing catastrophic happened, and you feel more free than before….that shift your belief system. It’s the lived experiences that really create change.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Share your own exercise journey in the comments!
This has been a big part of my own journey over the years. I’m in the military, so I am required to meet certain physical fitness standards. However, I have learned that the body is pretty resilient and can maintain its abilities even without daily exercise. So if I don’t feel well one day (hello, day one of my period) or my day just doesn’t go as planned and I don’t have time, I don’t stress about skipping a day. And focusing on performance really helps take the focus off trying to control weight and size. Because it’s just fun to feel strong and to see what your body is capable of. And I’m definitely stronger than when I was a teenager who carried less body fat but felt stressed and incomplete when circumstances impeded my daily regimen.
Thanks for sharing Sarah! Exercise should be FUN!
One thing I don’t understand in your posts on this subject is how your food intake is not contingent upon your exercise that day. Exercise increases your energy expenditures and it makes sense that your appetite and caloric needs would vary depending on that. I fully understand the concept of not punishing yourself with exercise, etc., but it doesn’t seem accurate to imply that your food intake shouldn’t be at all related to exercise. If I’m hiking uphill with a heavy pack for two hours, my needs are going to be different than on a day where I barely leave my desk. Why not get in tune with that?
My personal interpretation of it is that whether or not you exercise should not determine, for example, if you “get to” or allow yourself to eat an ice cream cone after dinner. Like the thought is “sorry, you didn’t run that extra mile today, so you didn’t burn enough calories, therefore you can’t have the “treat” that you want.” Of course if you go for a long hike, you’ll naturally be hungrier, but saying to yourself “oh I hiked for 2 hours so I’m “allowed” to eat this pizza, ice cream, (fill in the blank)” is not a healthy thought. Does that make sense?
yes – thanks for your clarification Kayla!
Hi Liz!
I have to agree with Kayla below! As someone who has been dealing with an ED for several years, I’ve had to work on the idea that I don’t need to eat less on days that I don’t work out.
I understand your point – your fuel/needs might certainly vary day to day, especially if you work out! But I think Robyn is coming from a place of ‘allowing’ yourself to eat intuitively, day in and day out. whether or not you exercised or not!
🙂
Kacey
I hear you – I think the difference is in only “allowing” yourself foods or calories if you’ve exercised x amount – that’s what I’m talking about here. That’s different than attuning to your body’s increased energy needs
Thank you for this post! This is a message I constantly need to reinforce into my daily life. A year ago I made the hard decision of leaving collegiate track & field. I based my decision off of the stress mentally and physically I was experiencing while participating in the sport. Looking back, I feel like a large portion of the stress was due to the way I didn’t fuel my body enough, and saw running as something I “had to do” in order to have relaxation and eat abundantly. When I left the team, I decided to quit running all together in order to try to bring back a period that had been non existent for over five years. After taking 8 months off of running and intense exercise, I finally got my period back. That time really helped me to recognize my previous dependence on exercise as a way to feel okay with myself. Taking time off was a way to sit with the discomfort of not abiding to the societal norms of rigorous exercise to “maintain” an x number of weight, and instead give my body full trust that it could get where it needed to be. Today I do miss running, but lately I have felt like 80% of the time, the movement that I’m craving isn’t running, but something of lower intensity. Its difficult because I think disordered thoughts twist my past enjoyment of running with the false sense of security and worth that running long miles gave me.
Anyways, enough of my rant, thank you for this message about exercise, as it was much needed in a season where I am reintroducing higher intensity forms of exercise while still trying to maintain true to what my real values are!
Thank you for this comment♥️ I went through something similar this last year and really appreciate your story. Keep moving forward and focusing on a healthy loving relationship with your body- you are beautiful and worth it. Xo
Thank you for sharing your story Abbie – I know many women, including myself, can relate!
That was me 100%! And I’m a trainer. The new me exercises for health and vitality. My motto: I used to workout for vanity and now I work out for sanity! 😉 I love this new freedom! Keep writing- you have helped me get out of a really bad relationship with food and exercise.
awww thanks for sharing Kandice – it’s nice to have trainers in this space!
Thank you for this post. I hit all the bullet points under the “signs of healthy exercise”, however there is one concern that has creeped into my mind lately and I’m not sure what to make of it: I like how exercise makes my body look. I like the tone and definition in my shoulders, calves, and the way ab exercises help pull in my lower belly. My thoughts about this are that it is certainly okay to like how my body looks, but if things changed and my body became more flabby, I would just do the work to be okay with that, too. Thoughts? Thank you in advance.
I’d encourage you to ask yourself WHY you like your body now and what it would bring up for you if it changed. If you’re placing your worth, security or value in your body size, that isn’t a reliable place to find those things since our bodies are always changing — aging, wrinkles, etc.
hope that helps!
I love the addition you made to it, and I fully agree with their definition of healthy exercise. The more flexible and fun it is, the more I know that my relationship with exercise is in a really good place.
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Hi, Robyn. Really Great Article. I also do exercise regularly. But never knew such details knowledge about exercise.
Thanks for such nice writing & explanation!! 😍
Hey, Robyn. Really good article. We Should do exercise for health benefits not only for appearance. I am an exercise lover. I really feel my day is incomplete without exercise.
Thanks for pointing such a piece of important information. It’s very needed to know.
Thanks for writing such good content!! Keep Writing!!
Thank you for the definition of healthy exercises. The differences between the exercises are very well explained. Thank you for the post.
Hey, Robyn. Great article. We Should do exercise for mental and health benefits both. I do exercise regularly. I feel my day is incomplete without exercise.
Thanks for writing such a useful article.
Keep Writing awesome stuff. All the best to you!!
I love the efforts you have put in this, regards for all the great articles.
Hey,
Robyn
I am really grateful to you that you share your personal experience in this article. I am very inspired from the article of yours. I will share this with all of my Friends and Relatives so that they can also understand the importance of their health and exercise. Special Thanks to You
Paul Joe Roe
I agree to your thoughts! Thank you for sharing with us