Our society is obsessed with diet and exercise. We are wildy satisfied and take immense pride in eating less and moving more. Magazines are chock full of articles telling you how to get your beach bod in 8 weeks – eat this and move like that and boom, six pack abs by May.
And although I love the classes and steam room and warm towels at the gym I go to in NYC, their marketing is intense. I can totally see how walking into gyms can turn someone into a calorie counting maniac whose on a hamster wheel of beauty perfection.
breakfast // 2 eggs scrambled with tomatoes + mushrooms, banana with cashew butter, sweet potato with cinnamon and coconut butter
But the truth is, it’s not calories in versus calories out. Just working out more and eating less isn’t this direct route to losing weight – and it’s certainly not this linear way to maintaining your healthy set point. If it were a simple equation, the weight loss industry wouldn’t be worth millions. But it’s so not. Most importantly, it’s not about the food….really ever. Never have I sat down and chatted with a woman to find out that it’s really just about what’s she’s putting in her mouth. Food is so intricately woven into our emotions, our spirituality, our social lives, and our overal mental health. The posture of our hearts so directly dictates how we view food and our bodies. So really, it’s never about the food.
And health isn’t about the food either. When I work with clients to restore their menstrual cycle naturally, or to heal metabolism so they can find their healthy set point, or help release them from calorie counting so they can eat more and eat freely without worrying about their body changing — my first questions aren’t about what’s going into their mouths.
post cycle class lunch // spinach with walnuts + apples + red onion + orange vinaigrette, an orange, creamy 10 spice veggie soup, and dark chocolate dipped in coconut butter
It’s about their thoughts about food and how they view food.
It’s about how they’re sleeping.
And then about the other stressors in their life – like work, or school, or their marriage, or their parent that’s dying of cancer.
And then it’s about their exercise routine.
And then it’s about the food on their plate.
Talking to women about eating more and educating on how the body works and therefore how much energy their body actually needs to function and the energy it needs to support exercise fills me up – because to see the lightbulbs turn on and women in awe of their body’s capacity to burn energy is awesome, but it should not be this astounding or life changing.
afternoon snacks // chocolate sea salt Rx bar on my walk to the library, kombucha while studying, some almonds on my way back home
But our culture has made it this way. Our culture has shoved 1,200 calorie diets down our throats and made us believe the more you sweat and the more calories you burn, the fitter you’ll be.
And that’s exactly how we’ve wound up here. With so many women struggling to menstruate naturally, yet the only answer they’ve gotten is to take birth control. Or the woman who keeps eating less, but the scale isn’t budging, heck it might even be going up – yet she’s told to eat less. To cut back on calories or watch her fats and stop eating real peanut butter. Or the woman who finds herself uncontrollably binging on carb rich foods at night and wondering why she can’t just stop – maybe nobody told her that her body was just freaking hungry and she needed to eat more during the day. Maybe her binging isn’t just a psychological issue.
dinner // green veggie curry with a potato + butter taken to eat at my nursing job
But there is freedom from it all – because our bodies were designed to utilize energy, and that includes carbs and fats and foods full of nutrients that nourish us like spinach and chia seeds and foods that also bring us pleasure and satisfaction in addition to nourishment like chocolate and wine and cupcakes.
Seeing women learn to take care of their bodies well and to enjoy food for how it nourishes and also because it tastes good excites me more than anything. It breaks my heart to see women enslaved to food and exericse regimines in fear of gaining weight or to see women in World War III because they’re trying to get healthy and lose weight. It shouldn’t be like this. Our bodies aren’t our own worst enemy.
We should be getting hunger cues, we should be menstruating naturally, we shouldn’t have constant carb and sugar cravings, and our weight shouldn’t be a ongoing battle.
There’s freedom in eating enough, in eating carbs, and in eating fats. Less is not more. And there is freedom in moving in a way that is feels good to you. More is not more.
night snacks // banana + nutzo plus a handful of dried figs when I got home before I crashed into bed
Our bodies are meant to be nourished.
And to thrive,
And to be well.
You don’t have to exercise everyday, eat healthy all the time, and deprive yourself of delicious food and spontaneity to be healthy. Let’s throw up the white flag and walk away from the fight.
![Rebound Weight Gain After Calorie Restriction [Q&A]](https://www.thereallife-rd.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/IMG_0123-150x150.jpg)
These kinds of posts are my favorite. You have an outstanding voice and a beautiful writing style that really hits home. Keep doing what you’re doing – because you’re changing lives! Mine included 🙂 Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I have been reading your blog for awhile now and I honestly continue to be inspired by you. I would be lying if I said that I never thought about some of those thoughts…. But over the past year and a half I have lightened up so much about what I’m eating and opened up to foods I once strayed from because they weren’t the healthiest things.
Great article! What are your thoughts on gluten and grains? I’m in between eating intuitively but also seeing how my body benefits without grains. Thanks!
Great post. I want to piggyback on Rachel’s question. I believe firmly in a balanced diet and not making any food “bad.” That being said, I have found that when I reduce simple carbs (breads, pastas, rice, etc.) I feel much, much better. Less bloated, more energetic, clearer skin, better sleep, less achey overall, etc.. I don’t think for me there is any medical reason for it (gluten tolerance, for example), but I do find the elimination of these foods makes a big difference for me, both emotionally and physically. I definitely think that for many people having healthy grains and carbs in their diets is perfectly healthy and beneficial in many ways. But I’m starting to wonder if what I’ve read about some people’s negative response to such foods (specifically inflammation) might be legit. So I was just wondering your thoughts on that.
Great question! I’m adding this to my Q&A list so look for thoughts on this in an upcoming video – I think it’s a topic many people will want to hear about!
Love, love, love your blog! It’s so awesome to find such inspiration and poignant truth in my inbox each morning. God bless you, girl! Keep shining your light and spreading hope in this world of lies and confusion. I only wish every knew about your blog and could read your posts. They bring such freedom! Love ya! 🙂
Thank YOU so much for reading Mariah!! And for the encouragement – have a great weekend 🙂 xo
You are a hero. A true true true hero. Your posts have changed my view on life completely and all your knowledge inspires and enlightens me so so much. Your knowledge and the science behind is SO important, especially nowadays. So I just want to thank you from all of my heart and I wish I could give you a hug beacuse you truly have changed my life becoming so much better.
This kind of post is fantastic and so are you!
Lots of hugs from Sweden!
Thank you so much for your sweet words Alice! Sending hugs from NYC right back 🙂
Thank you so much for what you put out into the world.
Wonderful post! I SO agree that we need to stop the war on food.
Beautiful. I need to remind myself of exactly these things every day.
I love these posts. In the past I have gone from very unhealthy eating habits and being very overweight to being orthorexic and losing my period for 9 months. Thankfully I’ve relaxed a bit and gotten back a semi-regular cycle, but many of these thoughts still plague me. Thanks for being a constant voice of health and wellness that doesn’t involve calorie obsession!
If this comment shows up multiple times, I apologize. I’m on my phone, and it told me there was a captcha code error so I just kept trying about 4 times. ????
And now I’m basically monopolizing your comments in order to explain that I used an emoji that apparently doesn’t show up, not 4 question marks! I have issues. 😉
LOVE this. thank you so much for sharing your positive outlook on REAL HEALTH! this is SO important!
Love this! 🙂 Love your message!!
I love your attitude to food. It is always keep me inspired and remind about healthy relationship with food 😉
Loved this post! Thank you so so much for sharing this. It really inspires me and do my best to change my perspective on things. It would be great if you could do a video post on this topic to go more in depth. Thanks again!
Hi Hayley!
I’d love to go more in depth if you email me questions! happy friday 🙂
I couldn’t agree more. Beautifully put.
Heck yes!! Thank you for being this voice.
I find that the women around me have a really hard time believing that they don’t have to be “light eaters” or always trying to pick the lowest calorie option. I cringe when I hear people talk about being “bad” or having to exercise something off. I start my dietetic internship this fall and I am thankful for RDNs like you for promoting the kind of message I hope to bring when I begin working.
so exciting about the upcoming DI! spread the message! 🙂
You are so inspiring, Robyn! You are so positive, uplifting, and you really bring things back to reality and into perspective. Please keep doing what you are doing. You are impacting so many lives, especially mine.
Have a great day!
So many people need to hear what you have to say about food and bodies, Robyn. I’m grateful that you’re a sensible voice in this community!
I LOVE when you get fired up about this topic, and I love these posts. Reading your blog has completely changed the way I think about carbs and fats (#allthehealthyfats #carbsfo’lyfe). But being under that constant barrage of EATLESS means I can always use the reminder that I’m not being “bad” when I eat nut butter out of the jar because I’m craving it, I’m just giving my body what it’s asking for. You can never write too many of these posts, thank you thank you thank you Robyn!
Thank YOU for reading Mary!! xoxo
Yes to all of this! I almost walked out of a spin class once the week of Thanksgiving because the instructor was telling us to “earn our turkey.” We don’t need to exercise to eat. We should exercise because we love our bodies! I am also tired of people commenting on the amount of food that I eat. I follow a plant focused diet with no problem consuming my 5 to 7 servings of fruits and veggies every day. I also exercise 4 to 5 days a week. I guess people don’t realize that when I eat a salad, an apple and some yogurt, that my body NEEDS all of that. My body has hunger cues, who am I to deny it?
Love this and thank you for sharing!! I always look forward to your posts, as someone recovering from hypothalamic amenorrhea, your posts have really taught me a lot and I appreciate your boldness and honesty!
new motto—–> Our bodies are meant to be nourished.
And to thrive,
And to be well. THANK YOU!
🙂 glad it resonated! xoxo
What a lovely post! I just discovered your blog and this was the first post I read. I agree with all that you have said and I find it really sad that our “society” has led us down this path. So many people equate health with weight loss, which leads to food restriction and excessive exercise. But i’m glad there are people out here like you spreading the truth and trying to help others break out of this awful cycle. Thank you for sharing! 🙂
Katie
welcome katie!! and thank you so much for reading! 🙂
I have a question about intuitive eating/listening to your body and all that jazz. I’m really good at being on Whole30 or having other similar eating plans. I’m not so good at the intuitive eating thing. If I have a square of chocolate because it’s “what my body wants,” I wind up eating the entire bar, because it’s just so stinking delicious! I can’t seem to find the happy medium between completely denying myself of my favorite chocolate toffee bar (like on Whole30) and eating only a square or two.
Hi Ash, you are NOT alone in that! We as a culture have relied so heavily on outside measures to dictate what and when we eat rather than our subjective cues from our body – it’s what I work with my clients on. Email me if you want to chat further! 🙂
I can feel your passion and enthusiasm through this post Robyn! Your approach to healing women and their thoughts and feeling around food is wonderful and your work is admirable. It breaks my heart when I see young women, who absolutely do not need to be concerned with their weight, coming into where I work part time and ask how many calories has this smoothie got in? A smoothie made up of such nourishing fruits and vegetables. They then spend a while deciding if they can allow themselves that many calories and I can see the anxiety in their faces. It breaks my heart because I have been there too when I was younger and now I am on the other side of all of that, I wish I could guide them to truly nourish themselves! I have faith young women will find practitioners like you to help them live life again and not be a slave to numbers! Food is a wonderful thing for healing and for nourishing the mind, body and soul when your thoughts and intentions are from love and not from fear. Keep doing your amazing work 🙂
But you are going to be such a light for those young girls!! Keep sharing your story! 🙂 xo
Who knew that weight loss wasn’t so simple as calories in and out. That explains why there are so many people who are struggling to lose weight. I love how you put it Robin,very beautifully said. There is a reason why someone isn’t menstruating regulary or craving carbs and chocolate, the body is trying to tell them something. Thanks for sharing!
Such a great post, its so refreshing to see your blog in the world when we always have the opposite message of health being thrown at us.
Hi, I never comment on blog posts but I had to with this one. Absolutely brilliant post, it really made me smile so thank you. I am currently studying nutritional therapy (College of Naturopathic Medicine) in the UK and this post sums up everything that our lecturers teach us. The amount we have learned… And ‘unlearned’ is incredible… Congrats for getting it out there for everyone to read. Janine xxx
I bet you are learning so much!! thanks for commenting janine 🙂 good luck!
Such a balancing message amongst all the noise we receive. Thank you, you are a beautiful person.
Such wise words Robyn and I totally agree. Your blog never fails to put me in a better mood and give me some inspiration. Another great post! 🙂
Well said!! ????
That was supposed to be a smiley face not ???
It takes so long to unlearn the messages we have received and thought to be true. Very grateful that you’re countering those ‘bank account’ and ‘it’s a math problem’ messages that too many sources report.
You have the best WIAW posts. Love this and agree completely. I have friends who are eating so little and struggle with their weight, yet they constantly are trying to eat less and less. I hate that our society programs women to think less is better. Thank you for being such a light and positive example for those who read your blog, amidst all the lies out there. <3
Awesome post! I can not tell you enough how inspiring you are Robyn.
I absolutely loved this post. I find that when I restrict (trying 1500,1600, 1800 calls a day,) I end up bingeing. I just don’t know how much to be eating. I want to lose some weight (about 5 lbs,) but I’m having trouble finding the balance to eat enough and not binge while reaching this goal. Love this so much <3
you are not alone rachel – many women walk your same shoes
our bodies won’t let us restrict before they scream “give me FOOD’ – but there’s freedom from that! email me if you want to chat more 🙂 thank YOU for reading! xo
Amen sister 🙂
this post is why you are such a role model to me. I had an eating disorder in the past and, although I am healed now, I still feel the pressure from the world (and even more often from myself) to eat a certain way, exercise more than I do, etc.Women (and men) need to remind themselves and one another that we don’t have to fit this mold that we try so hard to fit. It won’t make us happier, more fun, or a better person. It will leave us miserable if we don’t fight against it though. Thank you for doing what you do and encouraging me and so many others! I love your blog and don’t ever plan to stop reading.
XOXO Megan