Last week I started a new nurse practitioner job doing something very different than I’ve been doing for the past six months. It has been quite the transition.
Not only from the fast paced, urgent/emergency care setting I’ve been in, but also in adjusting from three 12 hour shifts and working late to a 9-6pm Monday through Friday job that has me waking up between 5:30 and 6am. Even though it’s been a big transition, it’s soooo good. And the work/life balance is so much healthier not only for me, but for our marriage. Nick and I are now on the same schedule – weekends off (so huge!!), going to bed by 9:30-10pm and waking up early together.
After a week at the practice, this position feels like the perfect fit in this new season of life. While my last job has been a steep, intense learning curve and challenging in many ways…coming back from our wedding and honeymoon, I knew it wasn’t sustainable long term for my health or the health of our marriage. My weeks were all over the place, the schedule was so unpredictable, I was working A LOT of weekends. Not just 1-2 which is normal in nursing/medicine, but like…every weekend. And if I didn’t work a weekend, I wasn’t guaranteed full time hours. I really love the people there (they were like family) and the work, but the late hours, hour long unpredictable train ride and haphazard scheduling just was not working. I’ll still pick up a shift here and there, but a new full time job was needed.
A part of me was really nervous to start looking for new jobs. One, I was insecure that I wouldn’t be hired and then I would fail and feel incompetent. I realize that’s a lie I was being told, but it’s how I felt. And two, I was really nervous about disappointing my boss and those I worked with. I feel like God has done a significant work in my heart about being okay disappointing people. We will disappoint people in life. And that’s okay. Between reading Present Over Perfect (are you guys sick of hearing me praise this book yet? ok good, because that’s how life changing it was for me) and this post by Jess Connolly and a whole lotta prayer…I’m learning to say no.
So this whole job transition has been a fierce lesson in learning to say no and to 1) not think I’m not easily replaced because I am. Not to say that I don’t think I’m valuable to an organization, but there are wonderful NPs who will replace me if I leave a job or say not to an offer and 2) to stand up for myself and do what’s right for me instead of aiming to please others.
I’m also becoming more secure in who I am becoming as an NP. Thankfully, the “I’m not good enough” insecurity become smaller during the interview process. I applied to a position on Indeed and then had my resume on the site that week and received positive feedback which was exciting.
So I interviewed at two primary care offices, one urgent care and an inpatient oncology position at Mt. Sinai. I went back and forth on accepting an offer for a week. Nick and I talked about it and prayed about it a lot and at the end of the day, the primary care office where I accepted felt SO RIGHT.
My ego wants this big hospital, intense, chaotic career but what I know my soul needs and desires is building relationship with patients and walking side my side with them. That’s what a knew primary care would allow me to do. And that feels really good right now.
So where am I working and what does this new position look like?
I’m working alongside a physician who actually did his residency at Columbia (cheers!) at a private practice that he started 6 or 7 years ago when he realized he didn’t like the high volume, 10 minute appointments that are so typical in primary care. So he branched off on his own and started doing it his own way, practicing more holistically, caring for the whole patient and taking time with each and every patient. Dr. St. Claire is raved about on Zoc Doc and among other medical professionals so I knew this was a doctor I really wanted to work alongside and learn a ton from. Bonus points that it’s in Columbus Circle which is right at the corner of Central Park and only a 30ish minute commute.
What I am most excited about, is that at the practice, we see a lot of eating disorder patients. His name is known among the eating disorder recovery centers around the city so many programs, RDs and therapists refer to him. Helping women with eating disorders is so close to my heart and I have loved learning how to best medically manage them and collaborating with the care team. He doesn’t do a lot of women’s health at the moment (although we do a lot of men’s health) so he’s hoping I can take over that side of the practice which I’m pumped about.
So far, I see a client almost every day of the week from 7:30-8am before I head into work and I get blog posts written in the morning, during my lunch break or on Saturdays. My plan is to do email/blog stuff before work or in the moments I have on the weekend, but to never extend work past 8pm in order to keep my body and mind and relationships healthy. It’s been a transition, but I think things are working themselves out and I’m catching a rhythm.
So that’s where I’m at. Excited to learn more and grow my primary care skills and provide the best care I know how.
Congrats on the new job, I’m sure you will do it wonderfully. 🙂
Yayyyy! Congrats! When I left my last job I had severe anxiety about upsetting my boss. And I can 100% relate to the whole ego/acuity thing. I made the transition as a nurse to the ICU last year to see if this is what’s I wanted long term. And even still, I hear that thought of “you need to be in the high acuity at the best hospital and get all your certifications there”, but it doesn’t jell right with me! I’m startingFNP this fall which feels SO right and I constantly have to remind myself of the same things (especially since I’ll be working in the ICU throought my program-talk about opposites!) I think you’re going g to be awesome! Enjoy the new pattern 🙂
I so hear you on this! I turned down an ICU job for a mother/baby job on a high risk OB unit. It’s a good fit while I have my own kids and balance family life. People thought I was crazy but it’s perfect for my work/life balance.
Yes! Sometimes what we need isn’t what looks “the best” on paper. So happy you chose what was right for you 🙂
Thanks for sharing amanda! And how exciting that you are starting your FNP! I’ve experienced that dichotomy and although it’s a little crazy, you will learn so much!
Your new job sounds perfect! Congratulations.
I’m a nurse and at graduation I thought I wanted to work in an academic medical center with high acuity patients, and I did that for two years and it was a disaster. Every day, I was physically, emotionally, and mentally drained. I switched careers into nursing informatics and it’s a better fit for me.
I have lots and lots of friends who can relate to you patience 🙂 glad you found your good fit!
Congratulations on the new job, Robyn! They’re lucky to have you! Cheers to exciting, new beginnings!
ps. Currently reading Present Over Perfect. I’m loving it :).
thanks dylan! so glad you are enjoying it too 🙂
I’m so happy for you Robyn!! There’s nothing better than feeling happy and secure in your job. I’m also thrilled that you finally get your weekends off!! That’s amazing! Here’s to you and Nick spending lots of adventurous weekends together. 🙂
I’m so happy for you Robyn!! There’s nothing better than feeling happy and secure in your job. I’m also thrilled that you finally get your weekends off!! That’s amazing! Here’s to you and Nick spending lots of adventurous weekends together. 🙂
we are so so so so so happy to have weekends off together 🙂
thanks so much marina!
Congrats, Robyn! This sounds like a perfect fit for you right now. Excited to hear more about it!!
thanks carrie!
Wooo! Sounds amazing and like it’s a perfect fit for you. Congrats! Happy for you! Xoxo
thanks so much erin! xo
I’m so excited for you, what an amazing opportunity! Sounds wonderful and you deserve that! All the best to you and Nick! And if the office ever wants to add another RD, I’ll move back up north and join ya haha. Congratulations, for reals!
thank you Kate! haha we don’t have any RDs now (I am one, but that’s not my main role :)) but I’ll let you know if so 🙂
Congratulations on the new job! It sounds like you will be of such a great service to some pateints who will be so fortunate to have you care for them!
thanks so much!!
Congratulations, Robyn!! The new job sounds so exciting, and I’m glad you feel much better in mind, body and soul here. I will definitely need to remind myself of these same lessons you’ve learned once I start work as a physical therapist.
I hope that are helpful for you down the road 🙂
It’s so wonderful to hear how you are feeling so free from having to please everyone and really seeking what God has for you and Nick and your marriage. It’s really encouraging to me as a young woman watch you protect and safeguard your marriage by cutting off work at 8 pm and taking a different job so you can spend more time with Nick.
And it’s awesome that you have a job where you get to work with really helping eating disorder patients; I know that you help many ED recovery gals via your blog, and I’m sure you’re a huge blessing to those that you see day to day. <3
It’s hard to have those boundaries but so so good! It has been really good to see both of those worlds collide 🙂
Congrats on the new job, Robyn! It sounds like a great fit 🙂
thank you! I think it is too hillary 🙂
Congratulations! Lucky patients that get to see both the doc you’re describing, and, of course, you! I smiled reading this.
🙂 xo
Congrats! Very exciting
thank you ally!
Congratulations, Robyn! Very wise to look at your new job in the larger frame of your marriage. My husband and I have been married for 14 years and we too have adjusted our work schedules so that we go to bed together and rise together (even if that means 3:30 a.m!). It is worth the sacrifice. Though it might not work for everyone, it works for us and we start and end each day with a kiss and an “I love you.” ????
It’s those mundane morning and night moments that mean SO MUCH. We have lots to learn from you 🙂
Congratulations! It’s so important and life-giving to have a nice work-life balance. Cheers!
yes yes yes!
Good for you! “My ego wants this big hospital, intense, chaotic career but what I know my soul needs and desires is building relationship with patients and walking side my side with them.” This totally resonates with me and was very timely. Sometimes we want to do it all, but life is really about prioritizing and stewardship over the time and resources we have. Love this post and so happy for you! You’re patients will be blessed to work with you!
you said those last words SO WELL Kim. xoxo
Congrats! Sounds like a great fit. I’d love to hear more about what you learn from that job. Also, your #2 is so hard for me too: “to stand up for myself and do what’s right for me instead of aiming to please other”.
I will definitely share as much as I can 🙂 And know you’re not alone in that #2 struggle. xo
Congratulations on your new job!!! That is SO exciting!! I can totally understand & relate to your lifestyle change. I am a new graduate FNP as well currently looking for jobs. I cannot wait to begin my career in the primary care setting too. I’ve enjoyed the chaotic, hustle & bustle of a high-risk floor, but am ready to move past crazy hours & working nearly every weekend. I’m also newly married & ready to finally have a normal lifestyle with my husband. I’m a new reader and am excited to follow along your journey!! Best of luck to you!! 🙂
Completely agree with the desire to slow down a bit Meghan – I am loving the normalcy and I’m only 2 weeks in!
Congrats! I’ve always gotten major anxiety about leaving a job, even when it was a part-time food service position in college. Change is hard, even when it’s good!
it is hard, but so worth it!
Congratulations!!! I love that you are willing to live out your values and prioritize what really matters. Also, just read that Jess Connolly post you linked to… GAME CHANGER.
This post was so helpful to me today! I’m in the middle of transitioning my role at my workplace, and it’s be much more emotionally difficult than I expected. So many things you said resonated with me, especially the part about not being valuable just because somebody else can replace you. A great reminder for me.
Congrats on the new job! That’s awesome you’re getting to work in an area you enjoy and can incorporate your RD skills into!
Congrats on the job – it sounds like absolutely the perfect fit for you!!! 🙂 It would be cool to hear how what you’re doing at your new job as an RD + NP is different from what you would be doing if you were just an RD.
Congrats on the new job! I think the part about not taking a job just to please others and that someone else will take a position you do not was exactly what I needed to hear! I struggle with doing things to please others as well and at 26 years old I’m finally learning this myself. LOVE your blog as a fellow RD looking to embark in a blog/nutrition business!